jueves, septiembre 29
Ramble #271
Simple Edit
Market Vu Two
Cicsprod
Yes, I know these words might be foreign to you. Actually I hope they are foreign to you. Those words are part of my "job lingo." We all have this vocational-vocabulary and it always becomes part of our regular diction. You'll be sitting down at dinner with a friends trying to tell them a story of how the lady who sits 3 cube rows away is always asking you questions about the (insert job lingo here) b/c she doesn't understand how to process the (insert job lingo again here). At this point your friends are massively confused and probably know not to ask you what the hell all that "lingo" meant. They probably wish you would have just said your co-worker is a bitch, jerk, ass, or w/e ad hominem you care to use.
You see there is an obvious reason why your friends won't ask you what all that occupational terminology means- No one other than yourself cares about what you do for a living. Sure your family and loved ones will ask about your job and show interest but it isn't b/c they think your nine to five is the more thrilling than w/e reality show is on at the moment. They ask b/c they care about you and so they show interest in you.
Wow this post has gone really bad up to this point. I'm not going to erase anything that has been written so far. I want this to serve as a testament to how bad it can get on this page. I'm stunned that I actually intended on posting that load of crap I just wrote. This post is
obviously incapable of being salvaged but I'm going to try, and I'm going to do it with an anecdote.
Here in Cincinnati, as you would probably assume, they have a lot of local ads on the television. This is anything new, every city has them. Since I'm new to this area I'm just not used to them. Back in Miami we have an infinite amount of Hispanics who are on TV doing commercials where they speak in their second, sometimes third , language- English. Perhaps it is b/c Hispanics dominate most of the South Florida area culturally that it is not that difficult to understand what is being said as the narrator butchers one of the all time ugliest languages.
Here in Cincinnati you can be as much of bigot as anywhere else and pretty much split people culturally into three groups- White, Black, and White Trash. Thankfully most of the people here have bought into this idea and conveniently choose to live almost always in their groups neighborhood. So much so that the city is split into an East (White), Central (Black, and West (Trash). Obviously the people defined as "Trash" is always made up of unknowns and the further west you go the further west they'll say the trash lives. The Whites and the Blacks can not deny the characteristic that groups them but the "Trash" have an advantage b/c they can always just take a shower and refrain from showing their teeth.
So it seems in only a short period of time a weak form of racism has become evident to this newcomer. Whites don't want to live in "Black" or
"Trash" neighborhoods and don't feel threatened admitting it. Hispanics here are safe b/c there are hardly any for anyone to notice enough generalities to latch onto a stereotype. But rest assured I've seen some and for the most part they are keeping the "3 guys in the back of a pickup on the way to work" cliche going strong.
What made me realize all this was a TV commercial for the upcoming evening news. It told about a roof contractor that did a shitty job on a church roof and now the congregation is forced to deal with it. Yes, Cincinnati news is just like everywhere else- they put another contractor out of a job each day in the name of consumer protection. I for one think that situation is great opportunity for blackmail. The news could threaten to show the footage if the contractor doesn't shape up, therefore improving the service without leaving a bunch of little whiteys with no food on the table.
OK, I'm going off on a tangent. The thing that I am getting to is that while the news was talking about the evil contractor they showed a clip of an interview with the church's pastor commenting about the condition of the roof. I kid you not that they subtitled him even though he was speaking English. Is that not offensive? How is that not admitting that this guy talks such poor English white people won't be able to understand, even though all the black people who crowd into that church understand him enough to have him as their pastor. The black people congregate to hear this guy talk. The white people need subtitles to understand that he doesn't like holes in his roof. I guess white people at least have an excuse for why they never go to black-dominated church (oh no, can't worship among different skin colors!).
At least if the person was Hispanic you could say "Hey, they have an accent b/c they didn't grow up here speaking English," but here they seem to have accepted the African-American form of English as a distinct dialect. It made me crack up. I hope you at least find it surprising and wrong. I'm sure if a mental retard was subtitle someone would take offense to it.
Market Vu Two
Cicsprod
Yes, I know these words might be foreign to you. Actually I hope they are foreign to you. Those words are part of my "job lingo." We all have this vocational-vocabulary and it always becomes part of our regular diction. You'll be sitting down at dinner with a friends trying to tell them a story of how the lady who sits 3 cube rows away is always asking you questions about the (insert job lingo here) b/c she doesn't understand how to process the (insert job lingo again here). At this point your friends are massively confused and probably know not to ask you what the hell all that "lingo" meant. They probably wish you would have just said your co-worker is a bitch, jerk, ass, or w/e ad hominem you care to use.
You see there is an obvious reason why your friends won't ask you what all that occupational terminology means- No one other than yourself cares about what you do for a living. Sure your family and loved ones will ask about your job and show interest but it isn't b/c they think your nine to five is the more thrilling than w/e reality show is on at the moment. They ask b/c they care about you and so they show interest in you.
Wow this post has gone really bad up to this point. I'm not going to erase anything that has been written so far. I want this to serve as a testament to how bad it can get on this page. I'm stunned that I actually intended on posting that load of crap I just wrote. This post is
obviously incapable of being salvaged but I'm going to try, and I'm going to do it with an anecdote.
Here in Cincinnati, as you would probably assume, they have a lot of local ads on the television. This is anything new, every city has them. Since I'm new to this area I'm just not used to them. Back in Miami we have an infinite amount of Hispanics who are on TV doing commercials where they speak in their second, sometimes third , language- English. Perhaps it is b/c Hispanics dominate most of the South Florida area culturally that it is not that difficult to understand what is being said as the narrator butchers one of the all time ugliest languages.
Here in Cincinnati you can be as much of bigot as anywhere else and pretty much split people culturally into three groups- White, Black, and White Trash. Thankfully most of the people here have bought into this idea and conveniently choose to live almost always in their groups neighborhood. So much so that the city is split into an East (White), Central (Black, and West (Trash). Obviously the people defined as "Trash" is always made up of unknowns and the further west you go the further west they'll say the trash lives. The Whites and the Blacks can not deny the characteristic that groups them but the "Trash" have an advantage b/c they can always just take a shower and refrain from showing their teeth.
So it seems in only a short period of time a weak form of racism has become evident to this newcomer. Whites don't want to live in "Black" or
"Trash" neighborhoods and don't feel threatened admitting it. Hispanics here are safe b/c there are hardly any for anyone to notice enough generalities to latch onto a stereotype. But rest assured I've seen some and for the most part they are keeping the "3 guys in the back of a pickup on the way to work" cliche going strong.What made me realize all this was a TV commercial for the upcoming evening news. It told about a roof contractor that did a shitty job on a church roof and now the congregation is forced to deal with it. Yes, Cincinnati news is just like everywhere else- they put another contractor out of a job each day in the name of consumer protection. I for one think that situation is great opportunity for blackmail. The news could threaten to show the footage if the contractor doesn't shape up, therefore improving the service without leaving a bunch of little whiteys with no food on the table.
OK, I'm going off on a tangent. The thing that I am getting to is that while the news was talking about the evil contractor they showed a clip of an interview with the church's pastor commenting about the condition of the roof. I kid you not that they subtitled him even though he was speaking English. Is that not offensive? How is that not admitting that this guy talks such poor English white people won't be able to understand, even though all the black people who crowd into that church understand him enough to have him as their pastor. The black people congregate to hear this guy talk. The white people need subtitles to understand that he doesn't like holes in his roof. I guess white people at least have an excuse for why they never go to black-dominated church (oh no, can't worship among different skin colors!).
At least if the person was Hispanic you could say "Hey, they have an accent b/c they didn't grow up here speaking English," but here they seem to have accepted the African-American form of English as a distinct dialect. It made me crack up. I hope you at least find it surprising and wrong. I'm sure if a mental retard was subtitle someone would take offense to it.
martes, septiembre 27
Smells Like Fish Bacon
I don’t really spend enough time talking about animals. Anyone who knows me knows that I love animals more than money, which is funny b/c I once said the worst thing I would ever do for money is chop up a bunch of live puppies. Maybe I don’t love animals with all of my heart but in most instances I will consider taking an animal over money. But I want to make clear that the larger the sum of money the more exotic the animal must be. I’ve provided a table that better demonstrates my currency for animal conversion. Here it is:
Dollar Amount - Animal
$10 - Russian Dwarf Hamster
$50 - Ferret
$100 - Iguana
$250 - Zebra
$400 - Boxer (dog)
$750 - Grizzly
$10,000 - Giraffe
$50,000 - Two Headed Ape (any kind)
$500,000 - Chupacabra
$1,000,000 - Dinosaur (alive)
After that point I can assure you that I am taking the money. Some people have asked me “What about an alien?” My answer to that is that I would be wary of any alien someone is willing to give away but would accept the alien just b/c I would rather not offend the alien by implying money is more important than it. I would also hope to be in the good graces of the alien’s planet by accepting it over a given amount of cash.
Something else I have been asked in regards to my “Money for Animals” conversion table is “Where are the cats?” This is a sore subject since I have a cat and do not establish an amount I would be willing to accept for him. Well, other than out of pure pity, there’s no way I would accept a cat. I only have cat in order to feel like I am doing the world a favor. The fact that my cat is actually cool and half Japanese only makes me like him more, but I’m not naïve I know he’s unlike other cats. For the most pert you would have to pay me to take a cat off of your hands.
Somewhere along the way I almost lost track of what I wanted to talk about today. I was perusing the news to find something to talk about when I came upon an article that was tremendously revealing. The article describes how Giant Squids have a more
complicated sex life than humans. Now, I have to admit, that I have been a fan of Giant Squids for a long time. Ever since Capt. Nemo found himself in the grips of peril while simultaneously in the grips of a giant squid I have been wondering, “how big can squids get?” What I never wondered about was how those squids went about making babies.
Apparently it is extremely complicated. The male injects his sperm into the female’s arms. How this works is anyone’s guess really b/c no one has witnessed squids in the act of magic making. The female, it seems, doesn’t like this “junkie” way of love-making and will not hesitate using her “chomping-beak” on her pusher-man/potential mate. What has been discovered is that squids posses an extraordinarily large penis (which you expect from an animal with the word “giant” in its name) that works like a fire engine hose is controlled as easily (picture what would happen in cartoons when a fire hose was turned on). More and more giant squids are being found dead on the shore inseminated with another squid’s sperm.
The mystery surrounding this is extremely perplexing. Are squids turning homosexual? Is it the poor lighting at the bottom of the ocean that can be blamed for Mr. Giant Squid not realizing he brought a man home? Are the larger females just showing the males where they can go stick their fire hoses? Are Spanish giant squids just more likely to be homosexual?
The answers to most of these seem almost impossible to find but it does seem the stress of having sex is very high for squids. Maybe that’s why the Nautilus was attacked; the squid was just trying to deliver its sperm packages.
Have a great day; I’m off to find more nonsense.
Dollar Amount - Animal
$10 - Russian Dwarf Hamster
$50 - Ferret
$100 - Iguana
$250 - Zebra
$400 - Boxer (dog)
$750 - Grizzly
$10,000 - Giraffe
$50,000 - Two Headed Ape (any kind)
$500,000 - Chupacabra
$1,000,000 - Dinosaur (alive)
After that point I can assure you that I am taking the money. Some people have asked me “What about an alien?” My answer to that is that I would be wary of any alien someone is willing to give away but would accept the alien just b/c I would rather not offend the alien by implying money is more important than it. I would also hope to be in the good graces of the alien’s planet by accepting it over a given amount of cash.
Something else I have been asked in regards to my “Money for Animals” conversion table is “Where are the cats?” This is a sore subject since I have a cat and do not establish an amount I would be willing to accept for him. Well, other than out of pure pity, there’s no way I would accept a cat. I only have cat in order to feel like I am doing the world a favor. The fact that my cat is actually cool and half Japanese only makes me like him more, but I’m not naïve I know he’s unlike other cats. For the most pert you would have to pay me to take a cat off of your hands.
Somewhere along the way I almost lost track of what I wanted to talk about today. I was perusing the news to find something to talk about when I came upon an article that was tremendously revealing. The article describes how Giant Squids have a more
complicated sex life than humans. Now, I have to admit, that I have been a fan of Giant Squids for a long time. Ever since Capt. Nemo found himself in the grips of peril while simultaneously in the grips of a giant squid I have been wondering, “how big can squids get?” What I never wondered about was how those squids went about making babies.Apparently it is extremely complicated. The male injects his sperm into the female’s arms. How this works is anyone’s guess really b/c no one has witnessed squids in the act of magic making. The female, it seems, doesn’t like this “junkie” way of love-making and will not hesitate using her “chomping-beak” on her pusher-man/potential mate. What has been discovered is that squids posses an extraordinarily large penis (which you expect from an animal with the word “giant” in its name) that works like a fire engine hose is controlled as easily (picture what would happen in cartoons when a fire hose was turned on). More and more giant squids are being found dead on the shore inseminated with another squid’s sperm.
The mystery surrounding this is extremely perplexing. Are squids turning homosexual? Is it the poor lighting at the bottom of the ocean that can be blamed for Mr. Giant Squid not realizing he brought a man home? Are the larger females just showing the males where they can go stick their fire hoses? Are Spanish giant squids just more likely to be homosexual?
The answers to most of these seem almost impossible to find but it does seem the stress of having sex is very high for squids. Maybe that’s why the Nautilus was attacked; the squid was just trying to deliver its sperm packages.
Have a great day; I’m off to find more nonsense.
lunes, septiembre 26
Hands Across The Sky
The weekend wasn't that fun, I'm not going to lie. I even went to a place called the "Funny Bone" and still can make that claim. That place is a comedy club and I should go down as hosting the worst comedian in the history of man. At one point it was impossible to hear him over the crowd. The "Funny Bone" staff was actually at door convincing people to stay for just a few minutes as they searched for the nearest shepherd's staff to yank the douche bag off stage.
I would like to make an announcement: TV and I have reconciled and are back together.
I spent time making up for all those nights I didn't have any TV to watch by staying in Saturday night. The TV and I really needed the quality time together. It was there for me when I was sick in bed for a month this past summer and I seemed to have turn my back in its greatest time of need- "premier week." I've even displayed my high level of commitment by upgrading to the DVR option in my cable package. Now I'll be able to watch all those shows that come on when I am actually doing something.
So yeah, me and TV are back together and happy. You don't have to worry about what you say about the other in front of us now, but please try to not bring up what we did when we were apart or all that time I spent with the radio. This time I plan on doing my part to make it work.
Don't worry I have already saved you time by calling myself "pathetic."
I would like to make an announcement: TV and I have reconciled and are back together.
I spent time making up for all those nights I didn't have any TV to watch by staying in Saturday night. The TV and I really needed the quality time together. It was there for me when I was sick in bed for a month this past summer and I seemed to have turn my back in its greatest time of need- "premier week." I've even displayed my high level of commitment by upgrading to the DVR option in my cable package. Now I'll be able to watch all those shows that come on when I am actually doing something.
So yeah, me and TV are back together and happy. You don't have to worry about what you say about the other in front of us now, but please try to not bring up what we did when we were apart or all that time I spent with the radio. This time I plan on doing my part to make it work.
Don't worry I have already saved you time by calling myself "pathetic."
viernes, septiembre 23
Stop Picking On Me
OK, so “Pick The Spic” is a hit, especially with girls 24-38. I am being demanded answers not only for the game but also for why it has taken me so long. The answer to the delay is that I haven’t had a computer for the past two days consequently no postings were done. Here are the answers:
Derek Parra (speed skater) – Hispanic
Vanna White (letter turner/expert applauder) – Hispanic
Miguel Ferrer (actor) – Hispanic
Tony Stewart (NASCAR driver) - Not Hispanic
Rudolph Valentino – Push (From Spain and some don’t consider that Hispanic)
Bonus*** Cheech Marin (Actor) – Not Hispanic (Iranian, Who Knew?)
There you have it. I bet very few people don’t believe Cheech Marin is not Hispanic, especially since “Born In East LA” was such a blockbuster.
My sister, who has always quasi-idolized supermodels, has brought to my attention the scandal that has engulfed the once relevant Kate Moss. Apparently railing lines of yayo is not a job requirement for models. I thought she was just trying to revive her career. Someone should have suspected this when she got serious with a guy who’s only claim to fame is doing more drugs than any other musician. I guess it pays to be a coke dealer to the stars if you have a camera handy.
In hopes of having more people go to “Alan Preps Your News” here’s a detailed description from Alan, himself, of what it was like to go out to the new club in Miami’s downtown called Metropolis. He also responds to my questions regarding any Lois Lane or Clark Kent sightings. Here it is (keep in mind that in Miami “black people” are scary to Hispanics):
It sucked; we didn’t even go in because everyone said it was whack. The place is huge, but supposedly it was a high school reunion inside. It was in downtown and for some reason all of downtown wanted to act like it would in the movies. Seriously, anything that you would put in a movie to depict a downtown setting happened last night. There was $10 parking at the club so we decided to go in a worse neighborhood to park. The first thing that happens when we step out is a black guy on a bike asks us for money to watch our car. It looked like he was doing rounds because he had some other cars under his watch. Second there was black woman on a corner talking to herself, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that she just happened to pull out of her purse. Guess she had to take a brake from tricking herself for those rocks. Third there was a different group of gangsters at each light post, looked like it was “Mark Your Territory Night.” Last, but not least, when we’re leaving a guy comes up to David’s window and proceeds to clean it to a spit shine. Oh I wish I danced with Lois, but the Terri Hatcher version even though I believe the movies has a hot chick in it too.
Apparently he forgot how plain the “movie Lois” (Margot Kidder) actually was and how she went off the deep end a while ago. I’ll elaborate through the inserted picture.
This site had its best week ever, and its still only Friday morning. There have been 87 unique visits to the site so I want to take a moment to thank my parents for constantly checking my site and bringing the count up. Keep it up and September will be the best month ever (for the site not myself).
Have a great weekend.
Derek Parra (speed skater) – Hispanic
Vanna White (letter turner/expert applauder) – Hispanic
Miguel Ferrer (actor) – Hispanic
Tony Stewart (NASCAR driver) - Not Hispanic
Rudolph Valentino – Push (From Spain and some don’t consider that Hispanic)
Bonus*** Cheech Marin (Actor) – Not Hispanic (Iranian, Who Knew?)
There you have it. I bet very few people don’t believe Cheech Marin is not Hispanic, especially since “Born In East LA” was such a blockbuster.
My sister, who has always quasi-idolized supermodels, has brought to my attention the scandal that has engulfed the once relevant Kate Moss. Apparently railing lines of yayo is not a job requirement for models. I thought she was just trying to revive her career. Someone should have suspected this when she got serious with a guy who’s only claim to fame is doing more drugs than any other musician. I guess it pays to be a coke dealer to the stars if you have a camera handy.
In hopes of having more people go to “Alan Preps Your News” here’s a detailed description from Alan, himself, of what it was like to go out to the new club in Miami’s downtown called Metropolis. He also responds to my questions regarding any Lois Lane or Clark Kent sightings. Here it is (keep in mind that in Miami “black people” are scary to Hispanics):
It sucked; we didn’t even go in because everyone said it was whack. The place is huge, but supposedly it was a high school reunion inside. It was in downtown and for some reason all of downtown wanted to act like it would in the movies. Seriously, anything that you would put in a movie to depict a downtown setting happened last night. There was $10 parking at the club so we decided to go in a worse neighborhood to park. The first thing that happens when we step out is a black guy on a bike asks us for money to watch our car. It looked like he was doing rounds because he had some other cars under his watch. Second there was black woman on a corner talking to herself, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that she just happened to pull out of her purse. Guess she had to take a brake from tricking herself for those rocks. Third there was a different group of gangsters at each light post, looked like it was “Mark Your Territory Night.” Last, but not least, when we’re leaving a guy comes up to David’s window and proceeds to clean it to a spit shine. Oh I wish I danced with Lois, but the Terri Hatcher version even though I believe the movies has a hot chick in it too.
Apparently he forgot how plain the “movie Lois” (Margot Kidder) actually was and how she went off the deep end a while ago. I’ll elaborate through the inserted picture.
This site had its best week ever, and its still only Friday morning. There have been 87 unique visits to the site so I want to take a moment to thank my parents for constantly checking my site and bringing the count up. Keep it up and September will be the best month ever (for the site not myself).
Have a great weekend.
martes, septiembre 20
Pick The Spic
In the spirit of Hispanic Heritage Month I've come up with a great game. It's called "Pick The Spic." All you have to do is figure out if the person is Hispanic or not. I've provided 5 people to determine if they are Hispanic or not, plus a bonus.
You can comment your answers or e-mail them to me. I know a lot of the people who read this are in Miami or from there and think they know everything about Hispanics b/c they have seen every one of those "You know you're Hispanic if..." e-mails.
Good Luck!!! Answers will be posted on Thursday.
You can comment your answers or e-mail them to me. I know a lot of the people who read this are in Miami or from there and think they know everything about Hispanics b/c they have seen every one of those "You know you're Hispanic if..." e-mails.
Good Luck!!! Answers will be posted on Thursday.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Bonus******
lunes, septiembre 19
Question #31
Why do people keep bumper stickers for the losing candidates on their car?
An good example to illustrate this is a Kerry-Edwards bumper sticker
When it comes to sports franchises or a band this type of loyalty actually makes sense. If the team or band is considered terrible or crap the bumper sticker can still function as sign of solidarity to the days when the team/band was good. For a sports team loyalty during those losing years is supposed to epitomize the true sports fan type of loyalty. That is why we call those who don't display this type of loyalty bandwagoners or fairweather fans.
This sports rule for bumper stickers should in no way apply to politics. There's nothing to cheer for once a candidate has lost their election. It's like cheering for a figure skater- you're going to have to wait for four years. If you are from the South and didn't understand what I just said then its like beating farts out of a dead horse.
You see, when it comes to politics the loser is exiled to oblivion for years, maybe even a decade. So what are you rooting for? To what is the loyalty attached to? (A loser, and nothing) I think people hold onto those Kerry-Edwards stickers b/c they think that somehow someone is going to start handing out blame to those that elected Bush. As if a poor job by a winning candidate has any direct consequences for those that elected her/him to office.
This "I told you so" mentality motivating the keepers of loser bumper stickers seems to be pretty powerful, yet in the end those who voted for the loser are going to be just as screwed as the people who voted for the winner if the elected candidate does a bad job.
So if you happen to run into someone who has a Kerry-Edwards sticker let them know you'll shoulder the "Bush blame" for them. You'll make their day, b/c who doesn't like a savior.
If that previous question stokes your fear of political debate I have provided another qestion that is not politics related. I don't have the answer to this question so instead I've provided some subsequent questions that will help when you discuss it with your friends (chyeah right).
Why is Aretha Franklin riding down the freeway of love in pink Cadillac?
- Where does the "freeway of love" run through?
- Is there a carpool lane?
An good example to illustrate this is a Kerry-Edwards bumper sticker
When it comes to sports franchises or a band this type of loyalty actually makes sense. If the team or band is considered terrible or crap the bumper sticker can still function as sign of solidarity to the days when the team/band was good. For a sports team loyalty during those losing years is supposed to epitomize the true sports fan type of loyalty. That is why we call those who don't display this type of loyalty bandwagoners or fairweather fans.
This sports rule for bumper stickers should in no way apply to politics. There's nothing to cheer for once a candidate has lost their election. It's like cheering for a figure skater- you're going to have to wait for four years. If you are from the South and didn't understand what I just said then its like beating farts out of a dead horse.You see, when it comes to politics the loser is exiled to oblivion for years, maybe even a decade. So what are you rooting for? To what is the loyalty attached to? (A loser, and nothing) I think people hold onto those Kerry-Edwards stickers b/c they think that somehow someone is going to start handing out blame to those that elected Bush. As if a poor job by a winning candidate has any direct consequences for those that elected her/him to office.
This "I told you so" mentality motivating the keepers of loser bumper stickers seems to be pretty powerful, yet in the end those who voted for the loser are going to be just as screwed as the people who voted for the winner if the elected candidate does a bad job.
So if you happen to run into someone who has a Kerry-Edwards sticker let them know you'll shoulder the "Bush blame" for them. You'll make their day, b/c who doesn't like a savior.
If that previous question stokes your fear of political debate I have provided another qestion that is not politics related. I don't have the answer to this question so instead I've provided some subsequent questions that will help when you discuss it with your friends (chyeah right).
Why is Aretha Franklin riding down the freeway of love in pink Cadillac?- Where does the "freeway of love" run through?
- Is there a carpool lane?
viernes, septiembre 16
A Quick One
Starting off with some housekeeping notes we find that a new section has been added to this site. I hate talking about the news b/c I think a lot of places do it already, but my friend Alan has found a way to make it fresh (in other words I think its funny). On the left you'll find a link to the "news section" of this site, it is titled "Alan Preps Your News." If you have a better name for it feel free to e-mail your suggestion. In the new section my good friend Alan Canler will point out the news stories that will make a difference in your day. He provides a witty conclusion he reached by reading the story and provides you a link afterward. If you need help knowing what in the news should be read about let Mr. Canler help you out. (that's him to the right).
Something else I have learned this week at work is that when people answer with, "ummm let's seeee...," when asked, "how long have you worked here," they are usually trying to say "ummm way to long."
Staying on that topic I would like to confess how stunned I am at the fact that any question that is asked during training seems to be able to open the door to an enormous menagerie of information. It's like every time someone admits to not knowing something the person answering the question takes it upon themself to throw as many things out there as possible in hopes of leaving the questioner thoroughly confused.
Have a great weekend!
jueves, septiembre 15
Evidence of Having Nothing to Talk About
Top sign that I’m blending in with the regular workforce- Most of my attention is fixed on where we’re going to Happy Hour on Friday.
I was originally thinking of doing a post revolving around a funny survey. The thing is surveys aren’t funny. Instead I’m just going to ramble for today’s post.
Ramblin’ #1:
I notified the post office I had a change in address as soon as I had an address to change to. The consequence of this is that it takes a while now to get my mail. Obviously we don’t live in ancient
times before the internet (read: the 80’s) so tangible mail isn’t a huge necessity. The problem is I am currently subscribed to a bunch of magazines thanks to free subscription found on the website the link on the left named “Bargains” takes you to. Yesterday I received my NFL preview edition of the Sporting News, riveting stuff. There were some things that stood out to me as I leafed through a preview I had the benefit of first viewing after teams had already played their first game.
The first thing is that the “fantasy” value of
player seems to trump the value that same player has for his team. Let me explain this for those who don’t understand the “fantasy” part of the last sentence. By fantasy I mean the leagues sports fans join to be able to make their own “dream” team and compete based on their ability to pick people who are going to be productive by w/e their league standards (statistics). Therefore I get to read up on how good some guy’s stats are going to be. Maybe its b/c players move around so much that fans now really don’t care what team they play for. Fans will cheer for “their” team and also “their” players even if cheering for one would mean cheering against the other. Logic is never invited to anywhere sports are going to be; this is what keeps Dungeons & Dragons from becoming an Olympic sport.
The second, and final, thing I’ll mention about my belated NFL preview was that each segment on a team contained compliments and praise for certain players on that team. Either the offense is going to be “high-powered” or the defense is going to be “dominating.” I can’t say that any of the teams really had much written about how bad that team was actually going to be. Every team had the same levels of positives and negatives. Yet somehow the same people that had
nothing but great things to say about every team were able to tell exactly what the standings would be at the end of the season. They didn’t say which teams were better than which, no, they were actually able to come up with the record for each team. Sure, almost every team was either going to have 10,9, or 7 wins, but I seem to have come back to the same conclusion about people who are employed to cover sports in the media: THEY KNOW NOTHING!
Wouldn’t you have gone in to sports journalism if you would have known you didn’t need to know anything? All you need is to have an opinion. Is there any other job like this (other than Terrorist Expert for any cable news station, but even then you need some convincing experience)? So if you could tell the difference between different shapes of leather you are ready to have a job. Why is this not being heralded in the inner city and unemployment offices?
Ramblin’#2
I’ll try to ramble a little less on this one. I had a Reuben sandwich today. It was my first ever. I actually only had half of a Reuben, but I swear it was b/c I heard it was filling not b/c I heard it was invented by a Hebrew. The sandwich was great and the potato cake that came with it almost made me forget all about tostones, yet a few hours later I am starting to realize how beneficial it is to practice moderation when it comes to eating sauerkraut.
Ramblin’#3
Since its Thursday it’s about that time to figure out what is in store for the weekend, because for all the things to be unprepared for, the weekend is the worst. I’m still a weekend away from a
couch, dinning table, and cable television so I’ll try my best to appreciate the bare floors while I still have a chance. This weekend is full of opportunity. Friday already has the obligatory happy hour attached to it, which will then be followed to another trip to little-Germany as Cincinnati celebrates Oktoberfest. Last week’s Oktoberfest was small compared to this one apparently. I hope to be able to at least hold a conversation in German by the end of the festivities. The next day I have the wonderful prospect of combating a hangover with rollercoasters, and everyone knows how well rollercoasters take away your hang over. I’ll be going to King’s Island once again, hoping to make good on the promise of knocking some teeth loose. I’m actually excited about going to the King’s Island again. You can usually gauge my excitement by my level of sarcasm.
I think that is enough for now.
Someone was reading my blog for almost 44 minutes today. That's 28 minutes past being a cause for concern. If you work at FPA Medical Management or at the law firm of Otterbourg, Steindler, Houston & Rosen shoot me an e-mail and let me know who you are.
I was originally thinking of doing a post revolving around a funny survey. The thing is surveys aren’t funny. Instead I’m just going to ramble for today’s post.
Ramblin’ #1:
I notified the post office I had a change in address as soon as I had an address to change to. The consequence of this is that it takes a while now to get my mail. Obviously we don’t live in ancient
times before the internet (read: the 80’s) so tangible mail isn’t a huge necessity. The problem is I am currently subscribed to a bunch of magazines thanks to free subscription found on the website the link on the left named “Bargains” takes you to. Yesterday I received my NFL preview edition of the Sporting News, riveting stuff. There were some things that stood out to me as I leafed through a preview I had the benefit of first viewing after teams had already played their first game.The first thing is that the “fantasy” value of
player seems to trump the value that same player has for his team. Let me explain this for those who don’t understand the “fantasy” part of the last sentence. By fantasy I mean the leagues sports fans join to be able to make their own “dream” team and compete based on their ability to pick people who are going to be productive by w/e their league standards (statistics). Therefore I get to read up on how good some guy’s stats are going to be. Maybe its b/c players move around so much that fans now really don’t care what team they play for. Fans will cheer for “their” team and also “their” players even if cheering for one would mean cheering against the other. Logic is never invited to anywhere sports are going to be; this is what keeps Dungeons & Dragons from becoming an Olympic sport.The second, and final, thing I’ll mention about my belated NFL preview was that each segment on a team contained compliments and praise for certain players on that team. Either the offense is going to be “high-powered” or the defense is going to be “dominating.” I can’t say that any of the teams really had much written about how bad that team was actually going to be. Every team had the same levels of positives and negatives. Yet somehow the same people that had
nothing but great things to say about every team were able to tell exactly what the standings would be at the end of the season. They didn’t say which teams were better than which, no, they were actually able to come up with the record for each team. Sure, almost every team was either going to have 10,9, or 7 wins, but I seem to have come back to the same conclusion about people who are employed to cover sports in the media: THEY KNOW NOTHING!Wouldn’t you have gone in to sports journalism if you would have known you didn’t need to know anything? All you need is to have an opinion. Is there any other job like this (other than Terrorist Expert for any cable news station, but even then you need some convincing experience)? So if you could tell the difference between different shapes of leather you are ready to have a job. Why is this not being heralded in the inner city and unemployment offices?
Ramblin’#2
I’ll try to ramble a little less on this one. I had a Reuben sandwich today. It was my first ever. I actually only had half of a Reuben, but I swear it was b/c I heard it was filling not b/c I heard it was invented by a Hebrew. The sandwich was great and the potato cake that came with it almost made me forget all about tostones, yet a few hours later I am starting to realize how beneficial it is to practice moderation when it comes to eating sauerkraut.Ramblin’#3
Since its Thursday it’s about that time to figure out what is in store for the weekend, because for all the things to be unprepared for, the weekend is the worst. I’m still a weekend away from a
couch, dinning table, and cable television so I’ll try my best to appreciate the bare floors while I still have a chance. This weekend is full of opportunity. Friday already has the obligatory happy hour attached to it, which will then be followed to another trip to little-Germany as Cincinnati celebrates Oktoberfest. Last week’s Oktoberfest was small compared to this one apparently. I hope to be able to at least hold a conversation in German by the end of the festivities. The next day I have the wonderful prospect of combating a hangover with rollercoasters, and everyone knows how well rollercoasters take away your hang over. I’ll be going to King’s Island once again, hoping to make good on the promise of knocking some teeth loose. I’m actually excited about going to the King’s Island again. You can usually gauge my excitement by my level of sarcasm.I think that is enough for now.
Someone was reading my blog for almost 44 minutes today. That's 28 minutes past being a cause for concern. If you work at FPA Medical Management or at the law firm of Otterbourg, Steindler, Houston & Rosen shoot me an e-mail and let me know who you are.
martes, septiembre 13
Tidy Tuesday
Few days are actually capable of passing without distinction, but most of the time we gloss over the details of our own lives and resort to going through the motions. Today could be one of those days for you.
Today I’ve been thinking about how much time is wasted while waiting for something momentous to happen; as if there’s a need for a milestone to know where one is at in life. The conclusion I keep running into is that it is up to me to consciously try and make each day matter, if only for my own happiness (or perhaps sanity). I don’t feel like writing much so I’ll leave you with the lyrics to “Another Day” by Wings, in hopes that it isn’t just another day for you.
Every day she takes a morning bath she wets her hair,
Wraps a towel around her
As she’s heading for the bedroom chair,
It’s just another day.
Slipping into stockings,
Stepping into shoes,
Dipping in the pocket of her raincoat.
Ah, it’s just another day.
At the office where the papers grow she takes a break,
Drinks another coffee
And she finds it hard to stay awake,
It’s just another day. du du du du du
It’s just another day. du du du du du
It’s just another day.
Ay
So sad, so sad,
Sometimes she feels so sad.
Alone in her apartment she’d dwell,
Till the man of her dreams comes to break the spell.
Ah, stay, don’t stand around
And he comes and he stays
But he leaves the next day,
So sad.
Sometimes she feels so sad.
As she posts another letter to the sound of five,
People gather ’round her
And she finds it hard to stay alive,
It’s just another day. du du du du du
It’s just another day. du du du du du
It’s just another day.
Ay
So sad, so sad,
Sometimes she feels so sad.
Alone in her apartment she’d dwell,
Till the man of her dreams comes to break the spell.
Ah, stay, don’t stand around
And he comes and he stays
But he leaves the next day,
So sad.
Sometimes she feels so sad.
Every day she takes a morning bath she wets her hair,
Wraps a towel around her
As she’s heading for the bedroom chair,
It’s just another day.
Slipping into stockings,
Stepping into shoes,
Dipping in the pockets of her raincoat.
Ah, it’s just another day. du du du du du
It’s just another day. du du du du du
It’s just another day.
Tomorrow I’ll try to write my much anticipated advice piece titled: “How To Lose Your Friends.” Unfortunately the follow-up segment titled “How To Be Happy & Alone At The Same Time,” is still in the works.
lunes, septiembre 12
Public Service Announcement #7 (This one's for the ladies)
Weekend was fine. It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Seeing Dave Chapelle is a more elusive goal than that bloody Holy Grail ever proved to be. Acquiring a bed and somewhere to put my clothes has done more to make my hole feel like a home than I would have ever imagined. I can now “do nothing” comfortably in my own home. No more “lounging” or “relaxing” on indiscriminant floor areas. I’m still waiting for my exercise wheel and “no-drip” water bottle to come.
Now that the weekend has come and passed and half of America has forgotten that there ever was a city named New Orleans while the other half wonders if their donations are going straight to those pricey concessions stands in the Astrodome/SuperShelter/BushHatesUs-opolis it is time to wonder about other things.
One topic that always perplexes me is the female moustache. There is no explaining their existence or reasoning any tolerance towards them. Has anyone, male or female, ever benefited from having a female moustache? I’m sure if this were a “Family Feud” question the number one reason for a woman having a moustache would be “To get a Circus Job.” This wouldn’t be wrong per say b/c circuses have always taken in any woman with facial hair, most of the time for “just-in-case” purposes more than any other reason. Yet, if you believe this proves that someone benefits from a “female moustache” then you are assuming it is beneficial to be employed in a sideshow (be my guest, the job’s all yours, freak). The guy who makes money off the “bearded lady” is only benefiting from her misfortune and it is always easy to benefit from misfortune. Ask all those cot (or pin-pam-poom) salesmen in Houston,
TX.So why would any woman shelter any facial hair beneath her nose. It doesn’t matter if it is hardly noticeable. That only means that it’ll be visible when up close and do you really want the last thing someone will see before they kiss you to be that hint of a “flavor saver” you keep? Studies have shown this reduces kiss time by at least 4.37 seconds and Big Red is rendered useless in the midst of a “female moustache.”
Let’s stop denying it and agree that no one should have one.
Why say everyone and not “all women?” B/c prepubescent boys grow this type of moustache also, and it is as much of a crime. If by rule of thumb it is never good to half-ass anything why would it be good to not go all out on something as bold as a moustache? It’s the mantle piece of your face; your hood ornament for crying out loud.
Bleaching doesn’t help, so just have it removed. In the world of social equity there is hardly a better investment a woman could make. We can all see them, don’t deny it.
Let it be known. Talk about it. Tell all the girls you know and never planned on getting with on the first place. Make sure they don’t have one first, though. That piece will save you from someone “sonando te” with a “galleta.”
I didn't review this one for coherence. It's Monday so give me a break, you should be working.
viernes, septiembre 9
Am I not being "PC" or just being racisit?
All I can think about, as I wait for someone to go eat lunch with, is Oktoberfest in Covington, 
KY. Covington is where I work; it is directly across the river from Cincinnati. I really have no idea what I should expect but I can always look forward that has anything to do with beer. When an activity revolves around beer nothing can go wrong, that is until everything else around you starts revolving also. I have never been to an “Oktoberfest” per say, but I have been to many parties where there are many Caucasians congregating around the “holy brew.” I figure any “type” of Caucasian can be substituted for another. French, German, Finnish, Austrian, etc., I really see no difference when it comes to their drinking habits.
Actually take the French out of there. I don’t want to refer to the French. Its so cliché.
MY girlfriend is gone for the weekend. She gets to go back to Miami for a long weekend, but this time on her job’s dime. The company she works for is paying for her to go back home to recruit students or alumni at her own alma mater. I really am trying to find out what she did to receive this abundance of good tidings.
I know I am not famous so I have no right to express my opinion on political or social matters, but I think I am safe to ramble on my own site.
It’s safe to assume that most people (yes, I said people b/c my “site meter” is recording an actual increase in readership) who read this site are up to date on their current events, and know that Kanye West is not only an upstart music mogul but also a typical African-American advocate. I describe him as “typical” b/c when it comes to any problem that has been faced by the African-American community in this country I can’t remember one time when they didn’t claim that it is b/c they are black that they have these problems. I hope someone who reads this prove me wrong and provides an example to the contrary.
When have Hispanics done this? Africans in Africa didn’t even start asking for help with all their problems until things got really bad. They wait till a couple of nations are lost to genocide before coming to the U.S. Why isn’t Hip Hop Culture synonymous with “Welfare Culture”?
I know not all African-Americans think this way, and I think it is safe to assume that most of the black people who have been made homeless by Hurricane Katrina are not spending much time thinking about how their blackness has kept the government from helping them out.
Somehow Kanye West knows how the government works; he is an expert; do not question this fact. Don’t take into account that the government in question has take a long time to DO ANYTHING. No, it must be b/c the people who are being affected are black. B/c black people don’t vote and since politicians only care about votes why would they care about the African-American community. Can you spot the contradiction?
Another good question is why doesn’t Kanye send money or put together some type of assistance for the people down there? Is it b/c he has an album that just came out and can only benefit from any increase in popularity he receives? Since there is no Ebonics equivalent for bureaucracy he probably doesn’t know that all the money he has probably can do a lot more, a lot sooner than the money the government will spend.
Just when you thought Bush bashing was out of fashion someone comes along to show you that no one had bashed him on the Hip Hop tip. The best part is that you can’t say anything bad about it b/c a bunch of white guys you have no relation to were too ignorant to know all people should have the opportunity to be equal (Kanye has obviously proven he has no equal and can someone tell him that Anthony Mason wants his hair back.).
The President of this country really should consider the infrastructure of New Orleans’ levees as his direct responsibility. I think someone should invent some type of “toilet-hat” so that it will be even easier to shit on the president for whatever goes wrong.
Let’s not do something about it! Let’s find someone to blame! That will save us!
Obviously more could be done, but can you name one productive thing that comes out of discussing that more could have been done? Are any lives being saved by talking about it? To answer these questions read Candide
What bothers me most of all is that the average African-American walking down the street has so little in common with the people the media pushes on them as spokespersons for the Black Community.
That all might not be "PC" but since when was I required to do what is correct politically. There's no song for today either so go listen to Kanye or something.
KY. Covington is where I work; it is directly across the river from Cincinnati. I really have no idea what I should expect but I can always look forward that has anything to do with beer. When an activity revolves around beer nothing can go wrong, that is until everything else around you starts revolving also. I have never been to an “Oktoberfest” per say, but I have been to many parties where there are many Caucasians congregating around the “holy brew.” I figure any “type” of Caucasian can be substituted for another. French, German, Finnish, Austrian, etc., I really see no difference when it comes to their drinking habits.Actually take the French out of there. I don’t want to refer to the French. Its so cliché.
MY girlfriend is gone for the weekend. She gets to go back to Miami for a long weekend, but this time on her job’s dime. The company she works for is paying for her to go back home to recruit students or alumni at her own alma mater. I really am trying to find out what she did to receive this abundance of good tidings.
I know I am not famous so I have no right to express my opinion on political or social matters, but I think I am safe to ramble on my own site.
It’s safe to assume that most people (yes, I said people b/c my “site meter” is recording an actual increase in readership) who read this site are up to date on their current events, and know that Kanye West is not only an upstart music mogul but also a typical African-American advocate. I describe him as “typical” b/c when it comes to any problem that has been faced by the African-American community in this country I can’t remember one time when they didn’t claim that it is b/c they are black that they have these problems. I hope someone who reads this prove me wrong and provides an example to the contrary.
When have Hispanics done this? Africans in Africa didn’t even start asking for help with all their problems until things got really bad. They wait till a couple of nations are lost to genocide before coming to the U.S. Why isn’t Hip Hop Culture synonymous with “Welfare Culture”?
I know not all African-Americans think this way, and I think it is safe to assume that most of the black people who have been made homeless by Hurricane Katrina are not spending much time thinking about how their blackness has kept the government from helping them out.
Somehow Kanye West knows how the government works; he is an expert; do not question this fact. Don’t take into account that the government in question has take a long time to DO ANYTHING. No, it must be b/c the people who are being affected are black. B/c black people don’t vote and since politicians only care about votes why would they care about the African-American community. Can you spot the contradiction?
Another good question is why doesn’t Kanye send money or put together some type of assistance for the people down there? Is it b/c he has an album that just came out and can only benefit from any increase in popularity he receives? Since there is no Ebonics equivalent for bureaucracy he probably doesn’t know that all the money he has probably can do a lot more, a lot sooner than the money the government will spend.Just when you thought Bush bashing was out of fashion someone comes along to show you that no one had bashed him on the Hip Hop tip. The best part is that you can’t say anything bad about it b/c a bunch of white guys you have no relation to were too ignorant to know all people should have the opportunity to be equal (Kanye has obviously proven he has no equal and can someone tell him that Anthony Mason wants his hair back.).
The President of this country really should consider the infrastructure of New Orleans’ levees as his direct responsibility. I think someone should invent some type of “toilet-hat” so that it will be even easier to shit on the president for whatever goes wrong.
Let’s not do something about it! Let’s find someone to blame! That will save us!
Obviously more could be done, but can you name one productive thing that comes out of discussing that more could have been done? Are any lives being saved by talking about it? To answer these questions read Candide
What bothers me most of all is that the average African-American walking down the street has so little in common with the people the media pushes on them as spokespersons for the Black Community.
That all might not be "PC" but since when was I required to do what is correct politically. There's no song for today either so go listen to Kanye or something.
jueves, septiembre 8
Patrick Ewing Effect Redux? Or Cornhole Comes To You!
OK, now it starts. My mission to infiltrate the inner depths of my new home town has begun. It has become of even greater importance that I meet people, do things, and experience all there is to do here in the ass crack of Ohio (I mean this in the most endearing way possible). My regular readers (read: reader) would say- “Hey you’ve been there for a while, and didn’t you write about going to baseball games and concerts?” Well, yeah I did, but I did those things as a tourist not as a resident of Cincy. Now that I have a home to call my own and almost a bed to rest my head I have made the first steps in saturating myself with this town (which I once dubbed as “God-forsaken” but have now come to find that God didn’t actually forget about Cincinnati He just lost its number when he switched service providers and is really, really sorry).
It is my hope that in my travels throughout the Queen City I will be able to relate to those back home (read: Miami) and elsewhere the things that set this town apart from all those other cities most Americans assume are just breeding grounds for white trash. Eventually someone who lives here also will read this also therefore I guess I’m going to have to stick to the facts for posterity’s sake.
That last word’s homophone- sake-(Thanks, Ross) was actually the center of my activities last night at the Cincinnati Art Museum. Sure, it took me 16 years to go to the Art Museum in the only other place I’ve lived, but like I said before I’m motivated here to get out. It was a great idea and I’m not going to take credit for it. It was actually recommended to me by, unbeknownst to them, two different sources. They had sake tasting and if you ever get a chance try plum-flavored sake.
Another unique thing to Cincinnati is Cornhole (has nothing to do with your butt), which I had mentioned before during one of my previous trips to Cincinnati (click here). Now there’s a great way for everyone (yes, I am talking to you and only you) to find out more about Cincinnati’s favorite party game. Click the link: (click the cornhole) it will take you to a beer site. Enter your birth date and then click enter. The page you will next go to has a spot toward the bottom, in the middle, that says “Cornhole, PLAY NOW.” Those instructions should get you to the game, unless you have been playing Cornhole, which would mean you are drink.
If you are having problems picking a team just think about what part of town you represent in your own hometown. Here in Cincy the “Eastside” is a more affluent part of town, while the “Westside” is considered the “blue-collar” (read: trashy) side of town. Here’s a hint if you live in Miami and don’t know which to pick- if you live close to Hialeah pick the “Westside.”
So there’s another one from Cincinnati (famous for a little known TV show in the 80’s). The Song of the Day for today is “There Is No Song of the Day for Today”.
Coming up next: Oktoberfest Kentucky Style! (They have Germans too)
It is my hope that in my travels throughout the Queen City I will be able to relate to those back home (read: Miami) and elsewhere the things that set this town apart from all those other cities most Americans assume are just breeding grounds for white trash. Eventually someone who lives here also will read this also therefore I guess I’m going to have to stick to the facts for posterity’s sake.
That last word’s homophone- sake-(Thanks, Ross) was actually the center of my activities last night at the Cincinnati Art Museum. Sure, it took me 16 years to go to the Art Museum in the only other place I’ve lived, but like I said before I’m motivated here to get out. It was a great idea and I’m not going to take credit for it. It was actually recommended to me by, unbeknownst to them, two different sources. They had sake tasting and if you ever get a chance try plum-flavored sake.
Another unique thing to Cincinnati is Cornhole (has nothing to do with your butt), which I had mentioned before during one of my previous trips to Cincinnati (click here). Now there’s a great way for everyone (yes, I am talking to you and only you) to find out more about Cincinnati’s favorite party game. Click the link: (click the cornhole) it will take you to a beer site. Enter your birth date and then click enter. The page you will next go to has a spot toward the bottom, in the middle, that says “Cornhole, PLAY NOW.” Those instructions should get you to the game, unless you have been playing Cornhole, which would mean you are drink.If you are having problems picking a team just think about what part of town you represent in your own hometown. Here in Cincy the “Eastside” is a more affluent part of town, while the “Westside” is considered the “blue-collar” (read: trashy) side of town. Here’s a hint if you live in Miami and don’t know which to pick- if you live close to Hialeah pick the “Westside.”
So there’s another one from Cincinnati (famous for a little known TV show in the 80’s). The Song of the Day for today is “There Is No Song of the Day for Today”.
Coming up next: Oktoberfest Kentucky Style! (They have Germans too)
miércoles, septiembre 7
Don't Call It A Comeback
Here I am, at work. New job, same old function- don't do much. Actually I am in training for a few weeks so it is very slow right about now. My job is writing reports that companies use to know how their product is selling or will sell throughout all of the U.S. I really don't want to get more into it, mainly b/c of how early it is in the whole process.
Today someone gave me a "Garbage Pail Kids" trading card. No, I did not go through a time warp on my way to the edge of the Midwest. My coworker collects them and thought it would be nice to give me and another coworker each a card. The actual kid on the card has our same name. Mine is Michael Mutant. I have to admit I appreciated it. It had been a while since I had reminisced about the "GPK" crew. The other card was of Ross Roast, and I'm pretty sure I like mine better.
I am not missing home. I have too many things to do and too many problems to deal with up here that I haven't even taken a second to think about what it would feel like to miss home. I think going back for Labor Day weekend was quite productive in stalling any of those types of feelings. My time down there was fun, especially at Automatic Slim's in Ft. Lauderdale. Not so much of a good time at Sunset Tavern. I don't know if it was the fact that I was stuck inside the booth for more than I would have like or if the company was just not fun.
This weekend coming up (I know it is only Wednesday)I will be all alone in Cincinnati. I am hoping to utilize my friend-making skills and come out a winner. My definition of a winner would be any type of memory or photo that has me leading a song among a bunch of lederhosen-clad Germans in a chant as we drink beer at the Oktoberfest (the "k" means its beer-drinking time).
Soon enough I will be putting up photos of my place. I still do not have a bed or sofa or dresser, but I have a TV stand and stools. Not that I have any cable television but at least I know I could get it if I wanted to. The bed and the dresser are on their way, arriving Saturday. I am pretty sure I am going to buy a sofa later today.
My time here has been going great (during the day, mostly) and I really have little to complain about. I am excited to see what living here does to me. I am hoping that it doesn't make me talk like the people from here. I think I am going to buy one of those learn how to speak Spanish CD's just so I don't forget what it sounds like. Something funny happened to me on while I was buying my stools. I was walking to the back of the store when I happen to pass a middle-aged, bald, white male who was answering his mobile phone. When he answered he spoke in English and it actually surprised me. I was stunned that he didn't answer with a "Que Paso," "Hola," or even a "Dime lo cantando." I'm sure in time I will get used to it. Hispanics are so rare around here people don't even think to classify me as Mexican (awww how nice).
That's it. The first post from the new Cincinnati based Michael Lorenzo. I will be trying to update this site on a regular basis again and also change its look. In other words don't be surprised if this site is down or looking very weird.
Today's Song of the Day is "Yesterday to Tomorrow" by Audioslave.