My Opinion Over Yours

Yesterday my grandmother celebrated her 88th birthday. I still am undecided on whether I want to live that long. My uncle, her son, turns 56 today. I am positive I want to live past that age. I am under the impression that those old farts that are out there lifting weights, surfing, running marathons, and eating 5 lbs. of metamucil a day were the people who did hardly anything adventurous while they were youthful. The regret factor is not what leads me to make this claim. I just find that probabilities are high that if you live your entire life as 'ambitious' as those old folks in the "Ensure" commercials you would have nothing left in the tank by the time old age set in. Almost every person would wear down in some form. If I have a choice I am not convinced which end of my life I would want to live dangerously. Perhaps the reckless abandonment would be more enjoyable if I felt like I accomplished something. On the flipside I could grow attached to my life and not want to sacrifice all I had attained. In reality though I doubt I am going to be hunting tigers in some Indian forest, or something like that past retirement.

I deleted several postings from the blog. You can post your condolences by adding a comment.

The problems of Latin America provides me with loads of time to think. This is what happens when I connect it all to my pen.

I found out today that the candy known as "Atomic Fireballs" do not break under any circumstances. This could be due to their "nuclear" composition. As I was attempting to disprove this fact by using my foot all I did was confirm the fact that one's foot can break. I think there is a permanent dent in my heel now. Wow, it hurts.

Nobody really reads these posts, but if they did they would notice that new posts are being created with less frequency than at the beginning of the year. The only explanation I can give concerning this topic is that I am currently filming a big budget movie about dog-sledding Afghans in Vancouver. This project is leaving me with little time to post during pre-production.

Sorry, that was all a bold face lie. Actually that was a bold face lie b/c the last paragraph was in regular type. I am actually spelunking in Central Africa and the wireless connection is lost below 83.27 km. Presently I am using two non-native spider monkeys, named Immanuel and Waldo Rigofilipun, (I haven't inquired whether there is any relation between the two) to transport my postings to the base camp where they are then published.

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that "Wife Swap is my favorite reality television program, easily surpassing the always drawn out "Real World." The show, "Wife Swap" is always packed with real people presented in a way that makes me feel so much better about myself. Every week my confidence soars to new heights as I realize there are 2 more families in the world that mine, I can happily say, will never resemble. Its almost the compete opposite of the feeling the E! channel gives off.

Its obvious I was bored today so I won't make any apologies regarding this atrocious post.

So I can post pictures now. Exciting times. Today was the first day of school so I'll try to post some later on this evening



Name the location in this photo and win an all expense vacation with Lola!

Unsuprisingly another vice has slowly sucked me beneath its submission. I now watch most movies through their bootleg quality. In an age where movies are so sharp they make looking at the real world like watching an old highlight from the 1983 USFL championship game between the Oakland Invaders and the Baltimore Stars. I still think that roughing call on Oakland's Gary Plummer was bullshit, but let us move on.

I was discussing bootleg movies and how much I know watch. Thanks to the clever Central Americans that dwell around every corner my mother is able to get movies just released to theatres on DVD for half the price of a movie ticket. I tell you those Mayans are the masters of the loophole, I am positive they are great with tax laws.

The quality of the movie, as I mentioned before, isn't great. You really need to be into the movie to put up with some of the difficulties. I had to watch National Treasure on three different DVD players and the ending seemed a bit cutoff. The movie wasn't as bad as I thought, and there were some dark scenes in the movie that came out a bit dark, making it a bit difficult to see what was going on in the scene. It was worth watching but I can say that with certainty b/c I didn't have to pay a cent to sit through it. Next up: Fat Albert

That should be all for now. A couple of closing thoughts:

- Rodolphe thank you for revealing that I am actually forty pounds overweight. I don't know how no one else noticed it.

- Bird you still have my green UM cap. I actually do want it back. You didn't win a free hat b/c you showed up to my house before going out on a bad hair day.

Ok, hopefully I'll think of something funny later. Until then feel free to read my sister Mela's comment made on the previous post. Her comment should make you crack up if you know me.

P.S. Sorry Melanie but the blogging program can not accomodate your desired extra elbow room between sentences.

Dylan McDermont makes a couple hundred thousand by just saying "The playoffs are where moments are made. What's next?"

I'm probably going to have to work for over 5 years to make that type of money. Obviously the way to make money in this country is to get famous first. It doesn't really matter how b/c I'm sure that Bobbit guy made some nice money after everyone found out some crazy bitch cut off his schlong.

I have no plan to cut someones genetalia off or anyway to get famous but I would sure take any suggestion short of commiting a crime.The only part of the job search I dislike is the cover letter. I know its important I just don't have the ability to structure bullshit.

Down here in South Florida there is a relatively new casino that has opened in the Seminole Reservation in Broward County. It's called the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, just click to learn more. They have recently opened an area on the complex that houses nightclubs and bars. What I'm about to tell you is my experience at one of these new clubs.

The name of the disco is Passion, and a more appropriate name doesn't exist since you need a real passion for nightclubs to thoroughly enjoy your time there. There is also no need to be inebriated at this club. The walls vibrate furiously from how hard the bass hits. Most people didn't mind the trickle of blood emanating from their ears. My heart for one didn't function correctly for the next 36 hours. I am not 65 years old, I have nothing against concerts, loud music, or anything of that sort. I think many of my past posts will vouch for the fact that I have been to some very loud venues but that club had to be the most painful to endure soundwise, outside of the Ashlee Simpson performance at the FedEx Orange Bowl earlier this month.

Upon getting into the club, for free thanks to the always hooked up Brian Cohen, the most noticeable thing was how different this club was from the ones down in Miami and Miami Beach. There seems to be a vast shortage of young people in Broward. I have never been to any bar/club there where there is a large group of 40-somethings. What a disgrace. Talk about ruining the evening. The last thing I want to do when I go out is look at old people. Especially ones who look their age and are proud of it. Don't they know that's why there's TV, so the youth doesn't have to see them at night. The worst part was that this balding short man and his date who seemed to be making the most of the fact that the babysitter would take care of the kids the entire night. The two of them made out on the dance floor for the entire time I was there. When the paramedics came to help a girl who had broken her ankle I was sure that they had been called to help this passionate couple out of a sever case of lock-jaw.

Needless to say it was disgusting that they wouldn't stop and wouldn't get their hands out of each other's pants. Every person around them had their backs to them and would only turn in hopes to find that they had stopped or passed out from lack of oral fluids or died from chocking on each other's tongues.

The choice of music wasn't bad. It was mostly hip hop. Hardly any of it was from the past three years though. Could've been better but could've been a lot worse.

A bartender asked me what I wanted to drink and then I guess forgot what I said as he caressed his biceps and went on to serve two other people before coming back and asking again like if I has just chugged the imaginary drink he served me the first time.

The place has potential, tons of it. Especially since it has 5 different rooms and only half of one was open. I guess it deserves another shot but no sooner than 2 months from now. Hopefully by then that nasty couple would have made it past second base.

I am a full book removed from Another Roadside Attraction. I believe this gives me perspective like opening a door for a girl to notice how she looks from behind.

The book is about hippies. Hippies so hardcore they don't even associate with hippies. A friend turned me onto Tom Robbins' work and I decided to give it a try starting with this first book of his. His style is amazingly imaginative and creates metaphors that reverberate in their uniqueness, such as when one girl gets a bad case of diarrhea and says she feels liked a "squeezed cream puff".

The main characters are a clairvoyant butterfly aficionado turned goddess, a modern day existential Tarzan-esque drummer, an ambivalent scientist on the run from alimony payments, a former football star, now a drug dealer/abortiont's agent, who falls into association with a secret sect of the Roman Catholic Church, and an ever vigilant baboon.

That short description of just a few characters gives some insight in how "out there" this book can get. It is definitely a book for open minded people since it requires a high level of detatchment from reality. In truth that's what books are meant for though so perhaps Tom Robbins' novela accomplishes its purpose by being so adventurous in how far it stretches the eccentricities of his characters. He also must've been on or around as many drugs as those hippies were also.

2 friends from Camp Wekeela just left this morning on a cruise.

Checkers is a good game to play with your loved one unless you're playing with the version that has shot glasses for game pieces.

The Butterfly Effect is still frustrating to watch after the eighth time.

Mexican food consumed past 9 p.m. will haunt you all night long.

How do you tie all these things together? The easiest way I can come up with is to just ask yours truly what he did today. That's right I did all those things and more on this relaxing Saturday. Its past the time the post says its been created but I wanted to stay true to the time my mind birthed this blog post.

I had two friends from Maryland fly down to spend some time with me and check out the city before heading out on a week long cruise around the Caribbean. You'd think I was the weakest impersonation of the Incredible Hulk if you could see how green with envy I am.

I'm also very tired so there's no hopes of writing interesting material. I'll try to use my Creative Juicer tomorrow and have some fresh squeezed verbiage put together.

Like I said I would do in an earlier post I am now going to give my critique on "The Life Aquatic" the new movie by Wes Anderson (The Royal Tennanbaums, Rushmore) starring the incredible Bill Murray, along with tons of others.

Right off the bat I will tell you that Wes Anderson's makes movies with a specific sense of humor, he does not appeal to the masses. Any of his earlier work will tell you that. If you can tune yourself in with what Wes is trying to get across in this movie he co-wrote the movie will have you more than an interest, on the border of being enthralled, in imaging what will happen next.

People complain that movies have gotten predictable. At the sake of not giving the audience what they want "The Life Aquatic" keeps you guessing the whole time. A relationship movie set in the open sea, the movie allows one to laugh at eccentric people doing things they way they find normal rather than having normal people doing things eccentricly.

All of the characters have quirks, even from the smallest roles, but you will need to pay closer attention to those if you are going to notice them. Also there is usually action going on in the background and foreground simultaneously, adding to the realistic nature of it all.

I found the movie to be incredibly funny, but then again Bill Murray's style appeals to me. Which means I must have something in common with Wes Anderson since he always leaves a place in his films for good ol' Bill. The comedy is for adults in how it isn't slapstick or physical. The humor in this movie lies in how some of the characters actually believe the way they do things is perfectly normal.

So that's it, hopefully that gives some idea about the movie. I will review Tom Robbins book Another Roadside Attraction shortly.

Is someone keeping score as to how many jobs have been lost due to computers and how many have gained. I'm pretty sure in the "Take Yo' Job Away Game" computers are winning. If its any consolation more nerds have found their place in the sun due to the upheaval.
NFL Playoffs start this coming weekend. You can start singing "it's the most wonderful time of the year..."

I'm waiting for it to drop below 50 at least once this winter here in Miami. High expectations, I know, since it hasn't dropped below 60 except for about 2 hours.

Tonight is a crucial game for Your Miami Heat against the Jewish favorites- The Seattle Supersonics. Their nickname begs the question- Are they named because Boeing had such big clout on the Seattle area? This is a big game for the Heat as they try to extend their win streak to 15 against one of the best teams of the year.

I learned last night that dominoes is a very fickle game. If someone believes they have any skill at it the skill they have is the ability to lie to themselves.

Tomorrow there should be a review on "The Life Aquatic" a film starring Bill Murray and who cares who else. A review on the first book by Tom Robbins, "Another Roadside Attraction" should follow on Wednesday

If you read this try to leave a comment b/c I'm highly suspicious I'm talking to myself.

New Year, time for resolutions right? That cliche has grown old for most people, believe me I have my finger on the nation's pulse. It has definitely grown old for me, yet I have fallen from the path and made a resolution, which is to start posting a whole lot more. A reader may look and that and see the ambiguity in my statement as a cop out that will allow me to post however much I get around to, but fear not the impression I have for this gleaming spot of intellectualism in the information superhighway is that it should be updated daily on the weekdays. Why not the weekends? Refer to a few postings from months pasts about weekend activities and it'll be come crystal.

So this is day one from me being henceforth accountable to my resolution. I'll start with a wish in hopes that a genie or magi will trample upon this. If I could just have someone interview me at the end of the day this whole blog thing would go much smoother. Kind of like a press conference after a sports game. I could just show up field a few questions make some gestures that would be interpreted and be on my way. The interviewer would have a much better time than they would have a regular press conference. For one there is no one else to compete with to get a question answered and second there would be no wait time for me to show up after showering since I shouldn't have any need to. If you're an aspiring reporter hoping to move up the ranks through me don't hang too much on that second promise b/c I've been known to sweat at inappropriate times.

Some things about the new year:

• My favorite sports team, the Miami Heat, are doing spectacular and are going to have a memorable year if they win the championship or not.
• Only one more semester and I am done with my undergraduate college career; I couldn't be happier.
• As my relationship with my girlfriend heads into new fronteirs I have to figure out why, most of the times, she seems to be most unenthusiastic person when it comes to spending anytime with me. I'm hoping I'm just bad at reading people.
• There's a ton of new albums coming out this year from artists I really like so I'm sure I'll give myself plenty of chances to review them

I'm going to keep this brief since I don't keep any in my underwear drawer and just mention that there are some other changes I will be implementing this year. I will only mention them based on their success not on their potential so that way I can refer back to this and say I was determined rather than lucky. Here goes 2005, let's hope I make it through.

P.S. my former e-mail addresses of mikenzo16@hotmail or @yahoo are now empty lots for spammers so friends and foes alike can reach me at the new fangled Google mail system: mslorenzo@gmail (much classier I feel (as if such thing exist on the internet))