My Opinion Over Yours

I leave tomorrow morning to Cincinnati. This may be the worst choice I've ever made (or one of the worst). I'm just hoping it isn't the best decision I ever make, I expect big things from the future you see.

I am obviously going for all the wrong reasons and not thinking things through. I am leaving home, where things are free and waiting for me, to a new place where I will have to learn how to struggle and earn everything I need or want. I am leaving Miami, the city full of non-stop fun, ever-famous for its night-life and beauty for a spot on the stoop of the Midwest- or what is known to everyone else as the most boring place on earth. The job I acquired isn't the greatest, neither is the pay. If I am not careful I might end up going down the wrong career path. Lastly my girlfriend lives in Cincinnati, which would be a saving grace in a perfect world but instead is a tremendous caveat in my world as she'd rather not have me around, at least not yet, or so close...

At this point it is abundantly clear that there are many reasons not to go. Perhaps you are even thinking "Damn, and I thought things were going well for you." Yes, ultimately things are going well, but it is mainly due to my uncanny ability to not worry about what will happen but rather look forward with excitement.

Sure it bothers me that my girlfriend, the only person I know in Cincinnati, is stressing more over the potential loss of her independence than looking forward to the fact that the person she says she loves will be around more than if we were separated by a great distance. Things get better when I tell myself that I can never begin to understand w/e type of commitment phobia (if any) she has. It is not as if I can somehow make a potion that makes her impervious to doubt. Yet here's a positive spin: all the worrying is really an effort to make our relationship work as well as possible.

I am sure she wants the best for me. My focus will be on that last one, the positive angle, however untrue it might or might not be, and just move forward believing the nothing but the best intentions are present. Then again it has been said that the way to hell is paved in good intentions.

Yeeeesh.

Ultimately I really don't know what will happen, but I am excited to find out. I would rather fall flat on my face than stay sitting on my ass.

To all 9 of you who read this I am sorry that my personal life has taken over this blog. I know no one comes here b/c of me but only b/c they are bored. I want to let you know that I will probably not be able to write a new post for a little while. Until then I will be thinking of how to make this site better and collecting my thoughts until something funny sifts through.

Hey what's that colorful thing?







Wow a wonderful sticker!











No Way! A family uses this van?









And you have a little baby and a dog! Holy shit. Thanks for the family roster. Now I know there's no chance you have any space for me in there. I can't believe how much I know about you and I still have only seen the back of your head.


Such a great foundation for conversation and friendship has already been established thanks to Family "roster" stickers. These helpful stickers clear up things like:
1. Family size
2. Preference of dog over cat
3. Age spread of children
4. Amount of years as a parent
5. Race
6. Erectile Dysfunction
7. Sports interested in
8. Sexual Orientation
9. Hair Color
10. Marital Status
11. Lack of things to do with free time
12. Profession
and many many more!

Isn't this amazing? Now we no longer have to think of what to talk about, as long as we congregate behind our vans that is. With stickers the possibilities are endless.

I know I’ve been neglecting my Internet pride and joy but then again I’ve always doubted the validity of this site’s audience. In my absence there have been several things that I have been wondering. Here are two of them:

1. Is there anyone stranger than Matthew Lesko that can claim to be a “New York Times Bestseller”?

For those of you who don’t know who he is I’ve added a picture to help jog your mind. The hard part in figuring out my question is that authors are usually strange quirky people. Somehow in his zealous scheme to self-promote Mr. Lesko has done two amazing things. First he’s only the second person to successfully pull off an outfit that is dominated by a type of punctuation. Yes, he is successful and I base this on the fact that he is a best-selling author but more so on the second thing he accomplished. That second thing is the fact that he’s been able to sell books through television commercials. The whole premise of a television commercial to sell a book seems weird and in my knowledge has only proved successful for books that stay at home mothers read. So kudos Mr. Lesko you’ve made “dumb” television watching Americans read a book or at least spend money as if they did know how to read.

I take that back b/c if you knew how to read you would not choose to read his books.

2. When did it become ok for British singers to sing with a British accent?

It seems that Hispanic, Asian, and, for the most part, Norwegian music artists have for a long time been under the gun to sound as “American” as possible whenever they open their mouths. This usually results in people saying “oh my god did you know he/she was from (fill in country here).”

Lately though I’ve been noticing that every British act has embraced their accent and let it fly when they sing their songs, further confusing us with inaudible lyrics. Obviously this stems from the anti-American behavior that is soooooo cool these days. So cool that it is almost hip to like America but then as soon as you do like it you realize all those country music loving hillbillies that you’ve now associated yourself with.

That is about it for now. I am in Cincinnati trying to make a life of things here. I’ll say something about it when there is a whole story to tell. For those of you who will say “Cincinnati! Wow! You must be bored out of your mind!” I will answer you by listing what I did the past few days:
- Went to a Marlins game against the Reds
- Saw Dredg in concert in an intimate setting (to say it gently)
- Interviewed for four different jobs
- Went to a birthday party
- Played a game of Cornhole
- Experienced Matisyahu

Over the past 5 days Michael Lorenzo took a trip to New York for a quick vacation before embarking on his most ambitious attempt to secure a career. Before venturing off to foreign lands Michael spent as much time as possible trying not to think. What follows is proof. This is the first in a five part series

Now I have two more New York nightclubs/bars under my belt. Tonight we went to a place called Movida. The place has a lot of potential, especially if it were still 1991. It is located on 27th street between Leroy and Bedford in case you would like to check it out for yourself.


Perhaps the thing that got most in the way of having a fantastic time at Movida was the fact that we didn't start the night after 1 am. After grabbing something to eat we went across the street to meet up with a friend of mine. Fortunately my sister told her and the people she was with to go wait for us at a bar that had a cover charge. We added on to the great gift of a cover charge by meeting them there about 10 minutes after they had gone in. I almost missed the bar we were meeting them at but then noticed that the place the blonde Lilliputian was herding us into was the place we had already intended to go.

After Movida we tried going to a place my sister dubbed "super cool." Apparently someone there had it out for her there b/c as soon as we got there the DJ began playing Lionel Richie. Somehow no other music epitomizes "un-super cool" than Richie's "Fiesta."

As for today I have already done something I haven't done in over 4 years- let someone cut my hair. For the past almost half a decade I have been the sole cutter of my hair. The haircut came out good but I think the tea tree oil treatment and massage were a bit much.

I missed a live band's performance but I can assure you it was fantastic. Everyone there seemed to be in a state of descending elation. As a consolation I was privileged to watch some Asians and Puerto Ricans play hand ball. I had no idea that handball was still being played. The torch has been passed to the immigrant community in the inner city, and it is burning bright.

It is always amazing to just walk the streets of New York, you learn so much like how it is totally legal to let your toddler cop a squat right on the sidewalk. Wow!

Over the past 5 days Michael Lorenzo took a trip to New York for a quick vacation before embarking on his most ambitious attempt to secure a career. Before venturing off to foreign lands Michael spent as much time as possible trying not to think. What follows is proof. This is the first in a five part series

I am currently at the airport waiting for my airborne chariot to carry me to New York. Most people associate bustling streets, overwhelming crowds, and a vast multitude of things to do with New York. Yet somehow right before heading off to this uber-exciting place what do I find myself feeling except this 14 year old girl neurosis that I am getting fat.
Those who haven't seen me in a long time would say: "Getting fat? I thought you were in the running for mayor of Fatsville for some time now?"

Those who have seen me more recently would just tell me to stop eating shit.

But both of those groups only refer to the 2 universal rules for conversations concerning fat and fat people:
1. If you are fat and talk about getting fat you disgust people
2. If you aren't fat and talk about gaining weight people think you are neurotic.

The thing is I'm just missing the way things were when I worked out and exercised. Due to being in geographical limbo I can not get a routine started. I worry about gaining fat b/c I miss the effects of exercised. My deep fear of ever growing man boobs also contributes to this.

Never mind that. New York awaits as I try to party in two of the biggest party cities in this country on consecutive weekends. I didn't realize this was going to happen a few weeks ago but now I figure to be exhausted by the time I return to Miami. Obviously my trip to Cincinnati will be the cure to too-much partying, but then again I could be underestimating Ohio (also called Iowa if you're French).

Before leaving to New York I want to take a moment to talk about an new album, in hopes of having some continuity on this blog. Today's album is "From Under the Cork Tree" by Fall Out Boy. It seems this will be there break out album after flying under the radar for some years. They have made a record that seems to point where most other bands have gone wrong. Using their hardcore pasts to build an interesting pop-sound they have come up with songs that are more meaningful, musically, than radio favorites such as Green Day, Jimmy Eat World, or Simple Plan. Don't get me wrong its not all great stuff but as a whole its definitely good.