My Opinion Over Yours

I did it, or rather I didn’t do it. I went the whole night without talking about the weather. Believe me the opportunity was there but I steered clear from it. I’m pretty sure the potential weather conversation was prefaced with “Man, I think it went from 55º to 75º in a few hours.” As soon as I heard that my mind raced to find something else to talk about while also hoping someone else would jump in and provide an escape route. It’s not like I haven’t been able to stay away from this type of convo before. Lord knows I grew up hearing the Miami equivalent of that phrase- “¡Coño que frio hace!”- for two weeks every year and never felt the urge to jump into that conversation. Either way I just want to take solace in the small victory I had in being able to talk about anything other than the weather.

I don’t talk much about terrorism but now I have something to wonder aloud about it so I might as well fill up some space. Communism lasted a long time and killed a lot of people but a select few were able to exploit the system to feed their personal greed. If there is no reward for being at the top of the Al-Qaida terrorist network other than being the most hunted after person in the world then when will it grow old? When will young Arabs look to their dead countrymen and then at their alive and successful countrymen and realize that they would rather live than die? They don’t believe in reincarnation so they have as much incentive to make this life as worthwhile as any. I’m guessing that the answer to this is that as long as there are people ignorant of the fact they are doing another man’s will and not the will of the god they believe in there will be people willing to kill themselves in the name of killing others. Obviously I can not relate.

When I mentioned suggestions on things to talk about yesterday I only had one response. It was from my sister, and it was the same suggestion she had made a day earlier on what I should write about. The topic- Pirates; the issue- their comeback. Since I have no problem appeasing my sister and I have little else to talk about here it goes.

Apparently if you’re looking to earn your way into the pirating business Somalia is the place to go. Since March there have been 27 reported pirate attacks off of the Somalian coast, and many believe that the majority of the attacks do not get reported for the fear of increased insurance premiums. Here is a quote from the Somalian program co-ordinator of the Kenyan Seafarers’ Association (which I would assume is a program only countries with pirate problems have): “"If you operate in these waters (off Somalia), you must operate as if you were operating in a war zone.”

Doesn’t really paint a pretty picture does it?

The first thing that comes to mind is to stay away from Somalia. I can do that I’ve kept away for this long. To be honest if I was a contestant on the game show “Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?” and made it to the final round Somalia would be one of the countries I wouldn’t know where to put that stick that lights up when you’ve placed it on top of the right country. In other words Carmen and those pirates are safe from yours truly ever finding them in Somalia.

Obviously the pirates will move to wherever there is stuff to steal is, or in their terms where the booty is. The first thing popping into my mind is the hope that BET has not gone international. If BET airs in Somalia it is only a matter of time before Queensbridge, Brooklyn, Miami, and Atlanta are attacked.

It seems though that cruise ships that must pass through Somalian waters already have a weapon to keep pirates at bay, literally. Some scientists, or weaponologists if you will, here in America seem to have read a little too much of the Odyssey in their spare time and have invented a Siren-like weapon that shoots a beam of ultra-high pitched sound which causes extreme pain. Now if you remember a while back I spoke about the death ray the U.S. Army had invented. The one that microwaves your insides until you move out of its way. Well the Greek mythology nerds did one better than the sci-fi nerds by making this sonic weapon. Like the death ray there are not a whole lot of details on how the thing works other than if you have a grenade launcher and I have a Super Sonic Master Blaster (patent pending) it is the equivalent of when you play rock, paper, scissors, and some asshole tries to get away with pulling out the dynamite. That’s how they play in Canada (click the link to see for yourself: http://www.netlaputa.ne.jp/~tokyo3/e/janken_e.html)

So what did you learn today?
1. It feels good to not talk about the weather
2. Terrorism should grow old by its 8th season
3. My sisters have somewhat of a say in the topics I write about
4. Pirates, much like the rhythm, are gonna get‘cha
And lastly:
5. Don’t play Rock, Paper, Scissors like a Canadian

O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh

O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah

Yah ya goh

O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh

O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah

O eh, o eh

Yah ya goh

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