martes, octubre 4
Making an impression
I really should write something. I feel I owe it to my fan. I'm not going to take time to blame anything or person for my absence; we're just going to move on.
Lately I have been wondering about what memory people keep of me, and I'm referring to the people I have interacted with on more than one occasion. Specifically, I contemplate on the impression I have left. What about me do they remember? What reminds people of me. I want to play "word-association" with my name and not have people know I'll see their answers.
Like most people I have been called many things to my face and behind my back but I don't think that really tells me what people think of me.
This isn't the first time I express this. I've consulted a few friends about this and, thankfully, received, what I felt was, great perspective. These thoughts have floated in and out of my mind for a couple months now. So, why? I've always been an advocate of not worrying about things you can not control, that it is a huge waste of time. This topic should fall in that category b/c there's no possible way of me entering someone's mind and control it to respond the way I want. Yet I have begun to look at this problem as being potentially controllable b/c w/o my actions there's no possibility of me ever making any type of impression.
What I have found in my conversations is that what I don't want is to,"see myself from someone else's eyes," as a friend explained, but to see the effect of my efforts. At this juncture there is a confusing problem that arises immediately when I begin to "control" how I am remembered- Am I being a phony?
If I am putting effort into creating a specific "memory" of myself I begin to wonder to what extent the words "unnatural" and "dishonest" become good definition of my character. It is difficult to objectively judge whether my motivation is to do the right thing or to be thought well of by the people I happen to come across. I think I kept running into this problem b/c I was viewing this "legacy" concept from the point of view of a relationship ending.
That though is a waste of time. I have no say in what reminds people of me once I have ended a relationship; that book has had its final page written. Instead of that p.o.v. I could take this "legacy control" initiative and apply it to the relationships that are still ongoing. You can think of this as spreading good word of mouth about yourself. I understand that some people will take hold of the idea that they shouldn't care what other people think about them and use it to excuse their own not caring of how they make people remember them. Your actions define you so why would you not care about the definition you write for yourself. Some people call this "writing your own definition" something else- living.
Now that control has been established (it's in the ongoing relationships) it is time for action, and that (action) is the keyword in all of this b/c that is where my, and this can refer to anyone, focus should be. I want to end with what my friend Gabe Kline told me in regards to this "problem" I was having:
Lately I have been wondering about what memory people keep of me, and I'm referring to the people I have interacted with on more than one occasion. Specifically, I contemplate on the impression I have left. What about me do they remember? What reminds people of me. I want to play "word-association" with my name and not have people know I'll see their answers.
Like most people I have been called many things to my face and behind my back but I don't think that really tells me what people think of me.
This isn't the first time I express this. I've consulted a few friends about this and, thankfully, received, what I felt was, great perspective. These thoughts have floated in and out of my mind for a couple months now. So, why? I've always been an advocate of not worrying about things you can not control, that it is a huge waste of time. This topic should fall in that category b/c there's no possible way of me entering someone's mind and control it to respond the way I want. Yet I have begun to look at this problem as being potentially controllable b/c w/o my actions there's no possibility of me ever making any type of impression.
What I have found in my conversations is that what I don't want is to,"see myself from someone else's eyes," as a friend explained, but to see the effect of my efforts. At this juncture there is a confusing problem that arises immediately when I begin to "control" how I am remembered- Am I being a phony?
If I am putting effort into creating a specific "memory" of myself I begin to wonder to what extent the words "unnatural" and "dishonest" become good definition of my character. It is difficult to objectively judge whether my motivation is to do the right thing or to be thought well of by the people I happen to come across. I think I kept running into this problem b/c I was viewing this "legacy" concept from the point of view of a relationship ending.
That though is a waste of time. I have no say in what reminds people of me once I have ended a relationship; that book has had its final page written. Instead of that p.o.v. I could take this "legacy control" initiative and apply it to the relationships that are still ongoing. You can think of this as spreading good word of mouth about yourself. I understand that some people will take hold of the idea that they shouldn't care what other people think about them and use it to excuse their own not caring of how they make people remember them. Your actions define you so why would you not care about the definition you write for yourself. Some people call this "writing your own definition" something else- living.
Now that control has been established (it's in the ongoing relationships) it is time for action, and that (action) is the keyword in all of this b/c that is where my, and this can refer to anyone, focus should be. I want to end with what my friend Gabe Kline told me in regards to this "problem" I was having:
"I feel like it is more the sum total of our actions that is the most important factor in how we are remembered. It is that consistency of action that you spoke of. Certain people with limited or specific interactions with us may come away with a memory of us based only on a few moments, rather than how we hold it down on the daily. Ultimately, though, I think it is more important to rest calm in our own being than to worry about other people's perceptions. To focus on the action and not how it will be remembered. Perhaps this is the most efficacious way to create our legacy. To be as present as possible."
Ultimately it is your actions that lead to the memory. It is wasteful to put effort into the goal of creating the impression you want b/c that is only an outcome of how you choose your actions.
I'm sorry if you came to here for funny stuff. I'll try to get back to it, but I wanted to write about this for myself. Hopefully it helps someone else like it helped me.
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