My Opinion Over Yours

This weekend I've been going out to some of Miami's hot spots. At first I learned how easy it is to get on "the list" to get into clubs, yet later on in the night I learned how much of a lie my previous lesson had been since I didn't get on any list even though I was told I was.

I still got in without much of a problem. The first night I made clear to the "list bearer" that even though she wasn't going to find my name on the list she wasn't going to find many guys trying to get into the club with 5 girls in tow. Thankfully the "girl to guy" ratio thing always works out if girls outnumber heavily. Needless to say she was happy to find a group that wasn't all guys.

Last night though the ratio wasn't weighed so heavily towards the girls. Earlier in the day my girlfriend called the club we were going to to see if we could be put on the list. The person who answered said yes and made it seem that it was harder to tie your shoes that get on the coveted guest list for a night club. Well, whoever answered the phone must have been feeling especially nice b/c no one was on any list once we got to the door and we were left to deal with an extremely perplexed gargantuan Samoan dude. Are gargantuan and Samoan synonymous?

In the end we all got in, three of us were charged but everyone helped out. I needed the help since I was without any tangible money so I made sure to repay with drinks until we were all too inebriated to know what money was.

Unfortunately the night ended with us getting chicken nuggets. A terrible idea that tasted so good at 4 in the morning. Fortunately all the drinking made the wait in the drive through bearable and the actual eating of the nuggets an adventure. Good night overall, although I probably did or said something while drunk that made my girlfriend mad or painted me as an asshole, but hey I never claimed to be all roses and pussycats.

Moving on now, I want to talk a little about the state of this blog. I am a bit disappointed that more people frequent the Garfield store in the Miami International Mall than this website but then again I used to love Garfield too, although Heathcliff was a bit more my style. Perhaps my lack of fascination with Garfield now is the reason I am no longer a fat ass. He really does encourage over eating, especailly slurping down lasagna without taking the time to chew.

From looking at the site meter I've noticed that this site is experiencing a big dropoff on the weekends and is booming mid-week. Obviously no one is surfing the internet during the weekend and I am happy that this functions more as a break for people during the workday monotony.

Surprisingly though there seems to be people that are accessing this site from other continents. I don't know if this is by mistake or pure serendipity but it all plays into my plan to become a celebrity in Asia and Africa. My reasoning behind that is that they seem to be free of the hussy fussy paparazzi Western civilization has deemed as penance for being famous. So whoever that one person in Laos who has come to this site, I hope you tell more people (even if you don't like it) and I also hope that picture of Asian hostages on the last post didn't get taken the wrong way.

I also seem to be read on the West Coast. That site meter is doing wonders for my ego.

If anyone has any pictures that they would like to have put on this site please e-mail them to me @ mslorenzo@gmail.com. My camera is broken and I desire to live vicariously through your camera. Don't worry about being embarrassed with your picture I intend to photoshop my face onto your own in the picture.


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