My Opinion Over Yours

Today is one of those days you know isn't about you but about us. By us I mean Floridians, be it past, present or future. I'm almost positive everyone who reads this is in one of those categories. Either way just by being Americans you know that you know longer need to worry about Arabs and now must focus your fear on all Shark species. Shark attacks are on huge increase, just last week no one was talking about them, now every news station is running to their local fish store to hire someone who is an expert on sharks.

Who benefits the most from these attacks? Well, Arubans obviously. Who cares about missing Alabama girls while sharks are swimming off shore just waiting to take a hunk-a-chunk of flesh from innocent backwater folk living in Florida's panhandle. I don't want to implicate that Aruba is sending the sharks so I'll just drop it.

The real reason today is great day for Floridians is b/c thanks to the sacrifices of two "panhandlers" Florida has he highest shark attack average in the world! The news said it this morning so apparently someone is keeping very close tabs on this. Some might argue that Australia is notorious for Shark attacks. First of all Australia has Great Whites so as far as shark populations go they have the "sexiest." Second of all an idea arose in a conversation I was having with a coworker. The idea was that perhaps Australians aren't reporting their shark attacks. Anyone who knows anything about Aussies knows that they are perfectly epitomized by Crocodile Dundee. They're tough people, generations and generations of penal colonization has evolved them into "leather-skinned" hicks with no ability to feel pain.

That argument hasn't totally convinced me and either way it just gives me more reasons to be proud I am a Floridian and not an Australian. Such as:
1. We can tell when a shark has bitten into us
2. We can count
3. We have a strong heritage of working class sharks, not the prissy Great Whites only
4. People like alligators better than crocodiles

Today be proud Floridians! We made the news and it didn't involve a child abduction.


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