My Opinion Over Yours

Perhaps it is because this is such a tropical, ecologically vibrant area that South Florida has locally famous wilderness men such as Max Osceola, Manny Puig, Billy Cypress, and the Swamp Ape. I'm pretty sure most other cities do not have this type of roster of frontiersmen among their citizens, but I'll cut most cities some slack due to the lack of "frontier" land for people of that type to romp around in.

Amazingly even with this wealth of men who are willing to spend the majority of their lives, at least the prime years of it if not, interacting with wild animals and overcoming strange mosquito given diseases there is one man who stands above them all when it comes to animal expertise.

His name is Ron Magill.

From his Metro Zoo kingdom located where human civilization once ended and wildlife began Ron reigns with an iron fist, ensuring that it is his opinion that shapes all South Floridians' knowledge of wild animals. Ron won't tell you what to do with your dog, cat, horse, fish, or cow but he will make sure that you come to him when you aren't sure which type of Heron it is that is nesting in banana plantation you just planted in your backyard. Ron most likely became an expert at a young age because firstly he's seems to have been around forever and secondly I doubt he could find many girls that were attracted to a flesh toned personification of Gonzo the muppet.

South Florida reveres Ron, so much so that it even goes to him when strange bugs infiltrate the area. Reporters know that when dealing with an animal story for the late night news they could either:
a) Do hours and hours of research to gain knowledge on the animal the story is interested in and think of everyday words to replace those "textbooky" words we all hate to hear on television
or
b)Call Ron Magill and find out what time you can go to his proverbial Serenghetti palace

I'm pretty sure other cities don't have this type of position in their municipalities: Animal Expert. Here in Miami we do, and boy does Ron do a great job. Everyone knows he's the animal guy. Who could forget a face like his? Not even the animals can displace his lovely mug and are capable of recognizing the trademark toucan beak underlined with a walrus moustache. They know that face will make them famous.

Listen to Ron he'll tell you helpful things like "Don't stick grasshoppers in your mouth" and "Hippos are responsible for more injury and deaths to humans than any other animal in Africa."


Thanks Ron, I now have no need to buy those pricey Wildlife Trading Cards, although I could have used the wonderful carrying case.

Today's Song of the Day is "Walking with a Ghost" by Tegan and Sara


Publicar un comentario