domingo, mayo 15
On a Dime
I hope the new wider format is more enjoyable. Feel free to stretch out and get comfortable.
I wonder if I can just chalk these past weeks up to "transitioning" and move on already. I really feel stuck in the mud, at least today. I have been crippled by my knee problem and today I finally figured out how to drive a car without the pain getting in the way.
So how can I be stuck in the mud? Shouldn't that be progress enough?
Here's the thing, as soon as I became mobile I realized I have no where to go. Ok, so we reference the proactive lifestyle handbook and see that it says I should come up with something to do to get me out of the house. Obviously I have failed at completing that mission as I am here typing instead of being un-American and getting out of the house on a Sunday evening. I could start calling my friends and see if our collective desires to be spared from boredom would conjure up some form of entertainment. Most often than not "seeing a movie" will be the answer to that question, and I am not going to lie, Sunday nights are my preferred movie night.
I'm going to cut through and just say I don't want to go to the movies. I want to go to a room that is filled with people who are all interested in exchanging anecdotes of how life has a lot to offer. Any live band with a bar that serves cheap whiskey will suffice. I really don't think I am asking for so much. It is impossible for me to do everything or know everything, which is why I socialize. I expect to find about all the things I choose to not do through others and there is no way this is going to happen at the movies.
I was called a loser not long ago, and that 'ad hominem' was supported by claiming that I have spent my entire life only associating with the same five people. I didn't believe that claim had any validity but I can assure you that God has spent the time from then til now proving to me how wrong that statement was. I found myself spread thinly over many friends as I moved from activity to activity. In many instances moving in between people who would rather not be associated with each other. The best part is that at no point were there ever 5 people I could count on to be there. I do enjoy my time alone, but I am more uncertain than ever whether that enjoyment is a cause or an effect.
Perhaps I am unable to give everything to a relationship or block out everything else from entering the scope of my desires.
Perhaps I just need to spend more time with my grandmothers.
I spent the early days of last week looking forward to the weekend and how much fun I would have celebrating my graduation. Instead fate proved itself uncontrollable and expectations were proven futile. I thought I had learned to live for the moment and enjoy whatever I had chosen to do, apparently my knee felt otherwise and had to prove it to me. Thank you knee, I appreciate you giving out on me.
The lack of support has helped me build a foundation.
I can almost walk again.
Publicar un comentario
Powered for Blogger by Blogger Templates
I wonder if I can just chalk these past weeks up to "transitioning" and move on already. I really feel stuck in the mud, at least today. I have been crippled by my knee problem and today I finally figured out how to drive a car without the pain getting in the way.
So how can I be stuck in the mud? Shouldn't that be progress enough?
Here's the thing, as soon as I became mobile I realized I have no where to go. Ok, so we reference the proactive lifestyle handbook and see that it says I should come up with something to do to get me out of the house. Obviously I have failed at completing that mission as I am here typing instead of being un-American and getting out of the house on a Sunday evening. I could start calling my friends and see if our collective desires to be spared from boredom would conjure up some form of entertainment. Most often than not "seeing a movie" will be the answer to that question, and I am not going to lie, Sunday nights are my preferred movie night.
I'm going to cut through and just say I don't want to go to the movies. I want to go to a room that is filled with people who are all interested in exchanging anecdotes of how life has a lot to offer. Any live band with a bar that serves cheap whiskey will suffice. I really don't think I am asking for so much. It is impossible for me to do everything or know everything, which is why I socialize. I expect to find about all the things I choose to not do through others and there is no way this is going to happen at the movies.
I was called a loser not long ago, and that 'ad hominem' was supported by claiming that I have spent my entire life only associating with the same five people. I didn't believe that claim had any validity but I can assure you that God has spent the time from then til now proving to me how wrong that statement was. I found myself spread thinly over many friends as I moved from activity to activity. In many instances moving in between people who would rather not be associated with each other. The best part is that at no point were there ever 5 people I could count on to be there. I do enjoy my time alone, but I am more uncertain than ever whether that enjoyment is a cause or an effect.
Perhaps I am unable to give everything to a relationship or block out everything else from entering the scope of my desires.
Perhaps I just need to spend more time with my grandmothers.
I spent the early days of last week looking forward to the weekend and how much fun I would have celebrating my graduation. Instead fate proved itself uncontrollable and expectations were proven futile. I thought I had learned to live for the moment and enjoy whatever I had chosen to do, apparently my knee felt otherwise and had to prove it to me. Thank you knee, I appreciate you giving out on me.
The lack of support has helped me build a foundation.
I can almost walk again.
Publicar un comentario