domingo, mayo 22
London Calling
Did you see me last night? I am not trying to insinuate you were stalking me or sneaking behind the bushes. It is that I just don't remember. If we didn't meet last night I'm sorry, I should have called, but for all I know I might have. In case you hear what I did last night I just want to say that I deny everything, but if you could relay what it is you heard that would help me know what I did last night.
Sunday morning is always better if it starts with a disclaimer.
I went to a party last night, and somewhere along the way I forgot that I was hoping to have a relaxed night. I went to a party full of people I only remotely know. Most of them went to college with me but I wouldn't say that more than 2 of them would be able to tell you my name. At first when my friend brought up going to the party (he's in the loop) I first thought that I didn't want to be around a ton of people I don't really know and have to make up things to talk about. After thinking for a minute I realized two things:
1. I spend a lot of time as it is making up things to talk about. This blog is exhibit A
2. I don't worry about consequences when I'm around people I don't know.
Thankfully I've had enough experience with #2 to know how much faith to put in it. At some point in time I really stop giving a shit about almost everything. Sure I get passionate about things but I just as easily stop caring. If I don't know someone I'll try to not offend them but I really don't care what they think. At this point my sister is reading this and thinking "but you should care about what people think of you." Which I then respond with, "If I'm a great person won't I act like a great person, therefore be a great person in someone else eyes."
I really don't want to get into the metaphysical nature of all that b/c I can already feel this post going to shit faster than Joe Rose. My mom has a song about her taking a shit. Random? Yes. I don't know who came up with it, and I don't know what distinguishes my mother in that regard, but shit's funny and songs about it and your mom are even better. Write one for Father's Day, I can guarantee he'll appreciate it. I'm going to write my mother's shit song. It is Spanish and I might not remember the lyrics too well, hopefully my sis will chime in with the right lyrics or readable Spanish at least. You have to sing the drum part, if not its not danceable.
Maria Alina
(tootoom toom toom)
Maria Alina
(tootoom toom toom)
Se Fue corriendo
Se estava cagando
You're supposed to put one hand to your mouth when you say the last part, that way it looks like if you're saying something under your breath. Please don't copy my song, just take my word for it that my father is one of the top "enjoyers" of that song. I have to admit I'm with him on this one.
I'm definitely going to go sing that song to my mother as soon as I am done here.
I was saying something about not caring about what people thought of me, but I don't know how true that is. Here's the thing, I am an asshole and people seem to be misinterpreting that and thinking I don't care what they think. I care, I really do. I'm just a real ass about it.
Next time you read this skip that part where I explained reason #2 and went into that one man dramatization with my sister.
For some reason the month of April is protesting the new blog template. If someone would be willing to mediate in this situation please let me know, I'm sick of seeing that picture of myself where I'm suffering from some type of facial paralysis.
Three Lines That Start With I:
1. I cut my hair today. I was going for "the gumby" but ended up with "the blockhead." I really should let someone else cut my hair.
2. I got excited this morning about going to see Star Wars tonight, then immediately after I realized why I am single.
3. I feel bad about my grammar, diction, and syntax today. I just want to let you know that I know those words. I'm way too scatterbrained today.
First off, by "my sister" I imagine you mean the middle child since I, the eldest, really do not care what anyone else thinks about me (except those I love, and even then only regarding some things) and strenuously hope that you do not ever care what others think about you. Next, it's "estaba" and lastly, this is the most hilarious flow I've read in ages, laugh-out-loud funny, as a poor movie reviewer might say. Oh, and what the hell is a "shart"? Is it a shouted fart? Because the link didn't work so now i'm left wondering....
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Sunday morning is always better if it starts with a disclaimer.
I went to a party last night, and somewhere along the way I forgot that I was hoping to have a relaxed night. I went to a party full of people I only remotely know. Most of them went to college with me but I wouldn't say that more than 2 of them would be able to tell you my name. At first when my friend brought up going to the party (he's in the loop) I first thought that I didn't want to be around a ton of people I don't really know and have to make up things to talk about. After thinking for a minute I realized two things:
1. I spend a lot of time as it is making up things to talk about. This blog is exhibit A
2. I don't worry about consequences when I'm around people I don't know.
Thankfully I've had enough experience with #2 to know how much faith to put in it. At some point in time I really stop giving a shit about almost everything. Sure I get passionate about things but I just as easily stop caring. If I don't know someone I'll try to not offend them but I really don't care what they think. At this point my sister is reading this and thinking "but you should care about what people think of you." Which I then respond with, "If I'm a great person won't I act like a great person, therefore be a great person in someone else eyes."
I really don't want to get into the metaphysical nature of all that b/c I can already feel this post going to shit faster than Joe Rose. My mom has a song about her taking a shit. Random? Yes. I don't know who came up with it, and I don't know what distinguishes my mother in that regard, but shit's funny and songs about it and your mom are even better. Write one for Father's Day, I can guarantee he'll appreciate it. I'm going to write my mother's shit song. It is Spanish and I might not remember the lyrics too well, hopefully my sis will chime in with the right lyrics or readable Spanish at least. You have to sing the drum part, if not its not danceable.
Maria Alina
(tootoom toom toom)
Maria Alina
(tootoom toom toom)
Se Fue corriendo
Se estava cagando
You're supposed to put one hand to your mouth when you say the last part, that way it looks like if you're saying something under your breath. Please don't copy my song, just take my word for it that my father is one of the top "enjoyers" of that song. I have to admit I'm with him on this one.
I'm definitely going to go sing that song to my mother as soon as I am done here.
I was saying something about not caring about what people thought of me, but I don't know how true that is. Here's the thing, I am an asshole and people seem to be misinterpreting that and thinking I don't care what they think. I care, I really do. I'm just a real ass about it.
Next time you read this skip that part where I explained reason #2 and went into that one man dramatization with my sister.
For some reason the month of April is protesting the new blog template. If someone would be willing to mediate in this situation please let me know, I'm sick of seeing that picture of myself where I'm suffering from some type of facial paralysis.
Three Lines That Start With I:
1. I cut my hair today. I was going for "the gumby" but ended up with "the blockhead." I really should let someone else cut my hair.
2. I got excited this morning about going to see Star Wars tonight, then immediately after I realized why I am single.
3. I feel bad about my grammar, diction, and syntax today. I just want to let you know that I know those words. I'm way too scatterbrained today.
Will go down in history for being the first man to shart on air
First off, by "my sister" I imagine you mean the middle child since I, the eldest, really do not care what anyone else thinks about me (except those I love, and even then only regarding some things) and strenuously hope that you do not ever care what others think about you. Next, it's "estaba" and lastly, this is the most hilarious flow I've read in ages, laugh-out-loud funny, as a poor movie reviewer might say. Oh, and what the hell is a "shart"? Is it a shouted fart? Because the link didn't work so now i'm left wondering....
Publicar un comentario