martes, mayo 31
Here's an update on the Frank & Beans Scandal at Gulliver Prep. Lazer Collazo, the coach who will show you how to "cup the balls" if you ask nicely, has resigned from high school baseball and will coach solely at his own baseball camp, Hardball Academy. Also he showed his players his nuts before the game not after. You have to imagine that the kids were a bit distracted at the plate when they heard cries from the dugout to "keep their eye on the ball". They lost the game to the school I went to, Florida Christian, which would claim that they are not associated with me if they ever read this blog and clarify that none of the views expressed on this site are their own. They'd rather be associated with the guy from the class of '87 who is managing an Olive Garden. I still plan on buying that place eventually, don't ask me why.
I want to take a moment to write a small ode to the people who always have experienced better than I. Everyone falls into this group, even yours truly (egads!). Apparently it seems impossible to some people to relate to your story. Here's an example using the two Daily Lorenzo Players: Alex and Chris
Alex: Oh My God, you should've been at the party last night it was out of hand!
Chris: Really, why?
Alex: We showed up and everybody started handing us drinks and these chicks were all over us.
Chris: No, way!
Alex: Yeah, it was the best party I had been to in a long time
Chris: That reminds of that kegger you pussyed out on last month. Man bitches were ripping my clothes off as I was doing a keg stand.
Alex: Um, ok, you already had told me that story.
What is Alex supposed to do in this situation? I can assure you that a great way to piss people off is to top their story no matter what it is. That's your tip on how to be a prick.
Changing topics I want to touch on the general opinion that people have of "middle America," which seems to be a term people use for people in this country who acts like dumb hicks even if you live in North Carolina. The stereotype that seems most common is that these "people" are ignorant and say anything to be on the local news, even if it proves they are their own grandfather. If you think this is a trait that is exclusive to, or even originated from "middle America" you are dead wrong. The British are the originators and perfectors of the "ignorant blurb," and in the forum of soccer, yes soccer not football, Britons seem to be the most ignorant people in the whole world.
If no one knows an American bought the most famous soccer franchise in the U.K., Manchester United, and it isn't working out to well. In fact fans are saying to boycott the sponsors of Man United. Why? B/c an American owns their team and they don't like Americans. I'm sorry but was I mistaken in my assumption the America has owned England since the 80's. Was I wrong?
Either way all these Britanians spend their time in the streets screaming at their top of their lungs how they want to kill Malcom Glazer, the Yankee that bought their team. Who cares who owns the team? Half the team isn't British and their top player hasn't been British most of the past two decades. Half of London isn't even British, who are these people kidding. The country who's main export has been pasty looking celebrities for most of the past half century.
I hope everyone had a memorable Memorial Day, I know I did.
The song of the day today is "Exodus" by Robert Marley
I'm out like most of the whites in Detroit.
The real question is whether you wish you had a brother, that is, do you think you would have appreciated having one?
And, your public needs to know: what made Memorial day so memorable for you? Iwo Jima flashbacks?
I don't get the brother question. I'm guessing I would have appreciated a brother based on the assumption that he wouldn't try to kill or maim me. I can tolerate most other things. Who is asking this question and why??
My memorial day was memorable b/c Melanie and I are back together. And by "back together" I mean that we are wearing Fundees but are facing opposite directions.
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I want to take a moment to write a small ode to the people who always have experienced better than I. Everyone falls into this group, even yours truly (egads!). Apparently it seems impossible to some people to relate to your story. Here's an example using the two Daily Lorenzo Players: Alex and Chris
Alex: Oh My God, you should've been at the party last night it was out of hand!
Chris: Really, why?
Alex: We showed up and everybody started handing us drinks and these chicks were all over us.
Chris: No, way!
Alex: Yeah, it was the best party I had been to in a long time
Chris: That reminds of that kegger you pussyed out on last month. Man bitches were ripping my clothes off as I was doing a keg stand.
Alex: Um, ok, you already had told me that story.
What is Alex supposed to do in this situation? I can assure you that a great way to piss people off is to top their story no matter what it is. That's your tip on how to be a prick.
Changing topics I want to touch on the general opinion that people have of "middle America," which seems to be a term people use for people in this country who acts like dumb hicks even if you live in North Carolina. The stereotype that seems most common is that these "people" are ignorant and say anything to be on the local news, even if it proves they are their own grandfather. If you think this is a trait that is exclusive to, or even originated from "middle America" you are dead wrong. The British are the originators and perfectors of the "ignorant blurb," and in the forum of soccer, yes soccer not football, Britons seem to be the most ignorant people in the whole world.
If no one knows an American bought the most famous soccer franchise in the U.K., Manchester United, and it isn't working out to well. In fact fans are saying to boycott the sponsors of Man United. Why? B/c an American owns their team and they don't like Americans. I'm sorry but was I mistaken in my assumption the America has owned England since the 80's. Was I wrong?
Either way all these Britanians spend their time in the streets screaming at their top of their lungs how they want to kill Malcom Glazer, the Yankee that bought their team. Who cares who owns the team? Half the team isn't British and their top player hasn't been British most of the past two decades. Half of London isn't even British, who are these people kidding. The country who's main export has been pasty looking celebrities for most of the past half century.
I hope everyone had a memorable Memorial Day, I know I did.
The song of the day today is "Exodus" by Robert Marley
I'm out like most of the whites in Detroit.
The real question is whether you wish you had a brother, that is, do you think you would have appreciated having one?
And, your public needs to know: what made Memorial day so memorable for you? Iwo Jima flashbacks?
I don't get the brother question. I'm guessing I would have appreciated a brother based on the assumption that he wouldn't try to kill or maim me. I can tolerate most other things. Who is asking this question and why??
My memorial day was memorable b/c Melanie and I are back together. And by "back together" I mean that we are wearing Fundees but are facing opposite directions.
Publicar un comentario